| A
female
age
41-50,
*ellypants04
writes: Ok, so here's the deal. I've been happily married for a little over a year now and unfortunately I had some health issues last spring. As of a few months ago, I am happy to report that I have made a full recovery and my doctors have informed my husband and I that it's ok to start a family. In any event, I am often turned down by my husband when I request that we make love, etc. I get the usual "I'm tired," "tomorrow," etc. I have even informed him that I am most fertile this week since my period has recently ended. I am grateful that he has been a great husband to me in every way possible and understand completely that he works more hours than I do, however I am really starting to feel at my wit's end if you will. I am eager to start a family and he is aware of this. What's your advice? I hate to sound like an impatient b****, but I'm in my late 20's and feel like we lost so much time when I was ill. It's not all about the physical aspect either. I crave the feelings of intimacy between us as well and frankly masturbation is getting old. =(
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female
reader, Jovial  +, writes (11 January 2007):
 what caused the illness and what was the impact it was gonna cause if u fall pregnant, so i think if getting pregnant at the time of your illness was dangerous this might be the reason why your husband is not keen to start a family yet. you will have to be patient with him i think the experience scared him more than you think and he might need counsiling to feel comfortable..
i also think the reason why he cant make love to you its because of your insistence in the issue he is afraid you will get pregnant so what do you think its the best solution in his mind? is to avoid sex at all cost.
dont be frustrated its not like he lost interest in you calmly be an understanding wife so that he can share his fears with you. remember you were the sick one thats why you are the excited one, however he is happy you are well but seeing you sick was painful and he doesnt want to relive the experience while it can be prevented. help him open up if he is being difficult start by asking him how he felt when u were sick what were u fears and ask him about his, if he is still scared u might get sick again, ask him all those questions its time u talk about it and share the experience of being given a second chance u both deserve that much.
i hope this will help you get some answers you seek if not all as he is the only one who knows.
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