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Unhappily married....what do I do now?

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Question - (3 March 2011) 3 Answers - (Newest, 4 March 2011)
A male age 36-40, anonymous writes:

I got married at Christmas past. For about six months before the wedding I thought that it didn't feel right but put it down to pre-wedding nerves.

Since we have been married (only 2 1/2 months) I have become desperately unhappy. I don't want to be in this relationship, it just feels wrong. I have spoken about this all with my wife and she was devastated.

I left last week to go and stay with my parents for a bit to try and get my head sorted. They were as hurt as my wife. I am now back at home as I feel I was emotionally bullied into coming back by my wife and parents. They say I'm being selfish and not giving it a chance. I was only away for one day.

Now my wife is saying things like if I leave she will have to leave her job and her mother wont be able to cope if I leave. My parents are saying that things will never be the same between us if I decide to leave. What do I do? I really don't want it to be like this!

View related questions: bullied, christmas, wedding

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A female reader, Adorskable  Mexico +, writes (4 March 2011):

Adorskable  agony auntYou probably jumped into this marriage to quickly. You weren't really ready to live a married life. I suggest you talk to your wife and tell her your concerns and maybe together you two can seek professional help. There is always a light at the end of the tunnel and if you feel like you just don't love her than the sooner you get out of this marriage the better, but if you do love her than don't you think its worth the effort. Don't allow yourself to get pressured, blackmail, or manupulated because this is your life, defend your happiness.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (3 March 2011):

Honeypie agony auntIf you guys belong to a church I suggest you go try some marriage counseling before you do anything drastic. Oh and no sex. You guys certainly don't need a baby in all this mess.

What is it about being married that makes you feel so unhappy?

Why did you marry her?

What do you love about your wife?

How long did you know her before you got married?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (3 March 2011):

This is a terrible situation for you! As much as I believe in marriage I would hate to force a husband to stay with me if he felt like this! You need to stand on your own two feet and do what's right for YOU! Your parents will come round in time I'm sure.

It may well be worth trying marriage counselling just so you know you truly gave it a shot and try to remember why you proposed in the first place, remember the things that made you fall in love with your wife in the first place.

Ultimately you only get one life...if it's over, it's over.

My heart goes out to you, but just remember it may be tough but it will all be ok in the end.x

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