A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi cupids! id like some advice on dating please, i met a really nice guy 2 weeks ago, we hit it off right away, we definatly have chemistry! He is a little older than me (10 years older) but for saying that we have the same values , views etc.Only thing is he's been hurt quite badly and has been out of a bad relationship for only 2 months.She was pretty awful towards him, cheated , played games etc.Thing is i've been hurt by the same thing myself but i've had more time to get over my ex, i don't think he has.were meeting on saturday and i just need some advice on how show that i like him a lot, wont mess him about, and am not the type to leave him in the lurch. it is sooo much more easier said than done ! I need the advice as iv been out of the dating scene for a while im pretty clueless.when we met we were drinking so of course we got on well, this time beer isnt involved and my confidence isnt exactly up to scratch after what iv been through.i dont wanna scare this guy off as i know he's vulnerable, but i can be intense sometimes without even realising.any hints or tips or similar stories/scenarios would be appreciatedthanks!
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male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (7 June 2013):
 You've only known this guy for two weeks... and he's already told you about his past romantic travails?????
Hang on!!!!! Because this guy is going to prove to be a very weak-willed individual, who you will - ultimately - learn has EVERYBODY and ANYBODY and SOMEBODY ELSE to blame for all that hasn't gone so well in his life. I predict that YOU will become his NEXT girlfriend/wife/tormentor who he will describe to his NEXT girlfriend/conquest as a heartless, conniving, frigid b**ch who ruined his life for all the time that you were in it....
Tread lightly....
Good luck....
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (7 June 2013):
 In my circle of friends 10 years is not a huge gap. I’m a bit more than 13 years older than my husband. It’s sometimes difficult for me as the older partner.
I’m not even going to address the age difference as that’s NOT the issue here.
The issue is that he’s only 2 months out of a bad relationship and you only have HIS SIDE of it. He may not have even begun to properly process or grieve the loss of his last relationship. In addition, we don’t know how long he was with her, how serious they were, etc. BUT it’s likely he’s not ready for anything serious with anyone at this point.
How you behave towards him is the same as you would behave towards any man. His age is not the issue. His fragility and emotional unavailability (the potential of) is the key here.
BE YOURSELF. IF you can’t be yourself, then there is no point in even trying to have anything with him as it will all be based on lies.
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A
female
reader, oldbag  +, writes (7 June 2013):
 Hi
First 2 or 3years is a little age-gap, 10 years is pretty big.
You can't show him in 2 weeks that your loyal and good girlfriend material. It takes time and you barely know him or if he is the victim he says he is.
Just take it slowly, be easy going, get to know him,no sex yet, your attitude and actions will show him the type you are over time. Have some fun together dating and don't build up expectations for a heavy romance until your sure about him.
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