| A
male
,
anonymous
writes: I just got the biggest shock of perhaps my entire life tonight. Two of my closest friends on the planet hooked up with my ex-girlfriend, several times over the past year. I knew that this girl had issues, but I still loved her, and even though I was suspicious on occasion of both of these friend's behavior, I trusted them, and they had assured me in the past (along with my ex, but I guess I can't really ever believe her now) that nothing had transpired between them. The truth of the matter was, they had felt guilty, or so they told me tonight, and couldn't come out and tell me. The situation was made worse when they repeated their mistakes (one friend twice, and the friend I consider myself closer to ... 4 or 5 times total). They are both on fairly negative terms with her right now and they assured me that they were sorry and that it wouldn't happen again ... blah blah blah. I guess I believe them, I'm not sure. Funny thing is, I still love this girl. Messed up isn't it? There was one point just recently where she hooked up with these two friends, and some other guy who I knew, but was not friends with, in a three week time span. Why did this girl ever enter my life?My question I guess is: would you reconcile with these friend? My gut is telling me right now to let them burn in hell, that I don't need them, but they've been my best friends for 3 years now and I want to believe them. Everybody makes mistakes right? I feel like I would never do this to anybody, and I sure as hell wouldn't wish this pain on my worst enemies. Don't know what to do ...Confused ...
View related questions:
best friend, ex girlfriend, my ex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 February 2007): Hi..
I have a similar situation. I broke up with my girlfriend of 6 years, about 2 months ago. She moved back to her home town and it now looks like one of my close friends of 13 years made a move on her.
I was hoping to reconsile with her, but it now looks like all is lost. Worst thing is that this is the second time my "friend" has done this to me.
My advice is to cut your two friends loose now and move on. If they did it once they will do it again with maybe your current girlfriend next time!!! The bottom line is that you cannot trust them!!!
As for the girl, well that is up to you. You were split up so technically she did not cheat on you. I might be hard but maybe the best thing is to cut clean and move on....
A
male
reader, tommy2k7  +, writes (30 January 2007):
 My friend did that - he's a player, but when they split up, should I get back with her?
...............................
A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (30 January 2007):
 Hi Confused,
You and your ex definitely aren't meant to be. Friends aside... she was cheating on you! If she truly loved you or had strong feelings for you she would have remained loyal to you regardless. It takes 2 to tango so I wouldn't blame your friends here and she's had multiple partners, not just one.
It was wrong of your friends to do what they did but in the end they did own up and tell you. My advice is to steer well clear of your ex, she doesn't deserve you. Let your friends know what they did was NOT cool and you expect them to remain loyal to you where women are concerned in the future (as you would to them) but don't throw away years of friendship with them over this woman, she's just not worth it!
There's plenty more women out there who will be faithful to you and love you the way you deserve to be loved.
Eve
...............................
A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (30 January 2007):
 It sounds like ther three of them are messed up. What would push her to sleep with so many of your inner circle of friends? That is strnage and says alot about her character. Not to mention the guys.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2007): I can kind of identity to your situation as I have been in a similar one a while ago now. I think the choice of whether or not you want or can remain friends with these guys will come to you over time. I think with things like this, you might decide to carry on being friends but when you are with them it just feels different - like something has changed and you will naturally drift apart.
You sound like someone who has a good strength of character whereas this girl and your mates were not so strong, I think that, on one hand, if you reject everyone who does not meet your level of character you could be in for a lonely life, but on the other, you don't want to seem like you can be walked over.
I think, in hindsight for me, I can tell you that over time all events eventually loose their emotional charge so you don't find them upsetting any more. You see them more as just things that happened.
As for why did this girl every enter your life, again I think the answers will come to you over time. I would say don't make any rash decisions about whether or not you want to have anything to do with them... it will come to you over the coming weeks and months. All the best :)
...............................
|
