A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Me and a friend have been having some 'no strings fun' for several weeks now. He recently came round to mine tipsy and told me his true feelings, I can't remember everything he said but he told me he could no longer keep walking away from me like this, that he never falls for friends with benefits but has with me. He kept telling me how I beautiful I was and that he had tried to fight his feelings for me for a while. He asked if I felt the same way, which I do and said he said we should make something of it. That night he said he didn't want any fun but just wanted to talk and cuddle. I tried not to think too much about what he said as he'd been drinking but when we woke up in the morning he was still being this different, cuddly, man, so I thought ok maybe what he said last night was true. Just before he left he changed back into the 'normal' guy he was before, just said 'see you later' and walked out my door. I text him to ask if he could remember what he said about us and he said he couldn't remember exactly what he said but did like me.He split up with his ex, who he was with for a couple of years about 5 months ago and he said he wanted to take things slow. He took me home from work as I was drunk the other night, and slept with me but there was no affection there like when we first started the 'no strings' fun.I've text him twice since then but I've had no reply. He's always been the worst person to reply to texts and has a phone that's always breaking so I don't know if he's just not replying or it's his phone again.What should I do about this situation? I always said from the start the no strings fun was good and if anything did come of it (as he's asked me out a couple of times before) than it would be a bonus. But now he's told me what he has I don't know what to do. Especially as I've not heard from him.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2011): Hey guys,
I forgot to add he had asked me out on dates several times for we were sleeping together. However I think I was too scared to let any one in emotionally due to my last bad break up with an ex-I was scared of getting hurt again.
I bucked up the courage to ask him where we stood-he said he didn't think it was fair on me if we carried on being FWB and wanted to take things further but uni/work prevented him from doing so. He said if we was going making something of it he wanted to do it properly but right now wouldn't be able to commit to that.
So I guess we all live a learn...just being friends it is!
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2011): It doesn't sound at all promising and he knows his words will get him entry into your pants..sad but true.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2011): "I always said from the start the no strings fun was good and if anything did come of it (as he's asked me out a couple of times before) than it would be a bonus.
That's the optimistic view of a FWB relationship. What you are going through now is the down side. FWB situations require no emotional commitment, trust, or respect. That is why they are so emotionally draining.
He probably remembers everything he said, he is just ashamed for whatever personal reason... Stop texting. Stop initiating contact. Stop having sex with him.
If he's interested in upgrading the relationship, he'll come round to you. If he's not, than let him go. He may ignore you only because he'll know you'll always bounce back to him everytime you push him away.
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