A
male
age
36-40,
*rancedRhythmEar
writes:Sex is very casual for some an almost everyday thing...something most are used to whereas Im not. So, by constantly getting action (vagina or otherwise) and then some idiot comes along with no or little experience, doesnt a woman think "I do this everyday and now someone doesnt know what the hell he's doing? Why should I waste my time I wont get any pleasure from this." Does that ever go thru your head? One reason Ive paid hookers is to avoid the risk of being exposed to this scenario however honesty is totally cool since this is something Id expect from an experienced woman. women like confidence and hate soft, whiny, woosy behavior.. this is what my experience has told me as well as the psychology ive read up on dating gurus i e guys who know how to get laid lol... now, "saving oneself or choosing to hold out for a certain time like I did, made me scared that women will see how big I am physically (which implies I could be dominate, assertive and confident) but inside be this soft little bitch lol because I chose to "save" my virginity. I was afraid this would have shown that was not assertive, I was introverted, shy, and these other usual non-desirable characteristic traits There is also the proud and i suppose admirable virgin who waits til a serious relationsip or even marriage, but thats usually governed by religion. not by personal ethics. That is where I felt different than most. Its almost like if I didnt throw my sexual morals out of the window, I would not have gained needed sexual experience. so i dont know how any woman would have wanted me unless I showed was confident in my personality unless I gained sexual experience by plowing a few fields (including 9 hookers) vs holding out that could have been construed as not confident, soft, and woosy. Thoughts on this mayhem in my head?
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confidence, escort, gain confidence, my ex, shy Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (24 January 2012):
 No one starts out being amazing lovers. NO ONE. It takes practise, patience, imagination and good communication.
Hookers isn't going to teach you a whole lot, they are paid praise you, fake it and get it over with.
TAKE the time to get to know whomever you are dating. Get to know their likes and dislikes, their bodies, what makes them smile, what turns them on.
Sex/lovemaking is more then round peg, round hole.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 January 2012): Lots of women complain about men's bias for less experienced women. But they ignore the fact that women have any equally strong bias for more experienced men. It's not any less of a double standard.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (24 January 2012):
 Uncle Tranced,my friend,
I think that by now you can relax and give it a rest with the "therapeutic" hookers :). Nine is enough. After all , it's not rocket science or brain surgery, instinct does give you a big hand. I am sure that by now you know the technicalities of what to do ,when and how, so breathe easy and don't worry about confidence. Practice makes perfect.
You should already know what I think about your doubts because we discussed it in another post, anyway, no, not all women, and not MOST women, would see your choice of waiting for sex as not confident, soft or woosy. No way. Some would- the youngest probably , or the most superficial.
Other women would understand it perfectly and respect it, and other women would not quite understand it and find it unusual YET still respect it.
That makes a decent percentage of women, IMO.
Anyway now ... you got your confidence,- so be happy and..sin no more, LOL.
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A
male
reader, TrancedRhythmEar +, writes (24 January 2012):
TrancedRhythmEar is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thanks for the response ladies. Well appreciated and understood. If I was ever with a girl, she wouldnt know about my sexual past. Even if Id been with 9 "normal" women, its not relevant to our future but my developed confidence is, which is what I want her to see in the bedroom. Not some idiot who doesnt know where to put it and cant satisfy her.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 January 2012): It is true, that sometimes the idea of having sex with someone with NO experience is a bit of a turn off, but that is the great thing about realtionships, the sex normally starts out bad/average, and over time, with plenty of practice, you get to know each other and what each other likes, and then it becomes very enjoyable and you get to try different things.
As long as you can comunicate with each other, things will usually work out just fine. You can fake confidence, no one will be able to tell the difference between a virgin and a guy who just hasn't figured out what the girl likes yet. Don't worry about all the dating guru stuff so much, most of the time women prefer men who are happy, fun to be around, and don't stress out about things like sex, experience, virginity, dominance, assertivness all the time. Meet a nice girl, get to know her, and work out what is best for your relationship, don't try to fit some dating formula to it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 January 2012): I am not going to start going on at you for being with hookers, but I think a lot of guys do get pressured into having as much sexual experiences as their peers claim to have had. There are alternative ways about how to know "what to do with a woman" to satisfy her while having sex. You go online, watch videos, read up about it if you wanted to have some knowledge of what works for a woman. Then you would feel more confident.
Personally if a guy I was dating told me he had little or no experience, I would find that to be a positive thing because then I would know that he was not the type to have casual sex with lots of women, that it means something to him. Plus if you waited for a girl you liked you could have fun exploring what works for both of you.
Many women would be understanding, personally I would not view a guy with little or no experience to be any less confident as person, less desirable, soft or woosy as you put it. In comparison to a guy telling me he was with 9 hookers, well I would be more concerned about that. However that is my opinion.
Good luck.x
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