A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've never been a jealous person, but up until now I have turned into a seething, jealous , bitter hag. My husband and I hit the one year mark of trying to concieve this week. It is so hard. We have both undergone initial tests (all fine, except a few minor issues that drs aren't too worried about) and have been referred for more complex testing. I am devastated that it has come to this. But what is killing me the most is other peoples pregnancy/baby news. I have a cousin at the moment who is pregnant, my family are fawning over her and I'm so jealous. I want to be happy for her, I really do, but I just feel my blood boiling when I think of it. Plus, she had a miscarriage earlier this year, how come she gets to make two pregnancies happen in a year and I can't even manage one? My anger is really starting to get the better of me. When I see pregnant women in the mall, or in the supermarket I have to rush past before bursting into tears. I suffer from psoriasis which always breaks out when I am stressed, and at the min, I am covered! I almost had a panic attack the other day at the thought I may never be a mom. Does anyone have any advice they can share with me on coping with this better, and is there anything I can do to overcome this shameful jealousy?
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female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (29 September 2014):
 It's not a rational jealousy (but then again when is jealousy really rational?).
I would do three things.
1. Go revisit your doctor. Consider talking to a fertility specialist.
2. Get a ovulation kit or a Fertility Monitor so you know WHEN the BEST days are there. (you can even get a darn APP for that! (seriously, you can...)
3. go to the library or buy: The Impatient Woman's Guide to Getting Pregnant
Wear a rubberband around your wrist. EVERY time you see a pregnant chick and start to get mad/upset - pull it. It will help you focus on something else. And then think to yourself, IF she can do it, I can do it. Being mad at them doesn't GIVE you a better chance. I'm sure you know that, rationally. But you need to KEEP reinforcing those thoughts, the POSITIVE ONES - not the negative ones. And have some COMPASSION for your cousin, she might have GOTTEN pregnant but she LOST the baby. TWICE.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 September 2014): Have you considered asking your doctor about counselling? You've lost all human empathy (Jealous of your cousin's miscarriage? Do you not realise how traumatising that must have been for her), and you're still young enough that most problems could be tackled easily if they occur, it's only been a year, you don't need to worry this much yet. It's normal to take time to get pregnant, and being stressed is not going to help your fertility.
So for your relationships with those around you, and for your fertility please go and speak to a professional.
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