A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Dear Cupid, I need help, at least advice from anybody who can have a little attention to this. I have a very disfunctional family and it's really killing me, parents never been good to me specially mother who seems hated me frome the very start of my life. brothers and sisters even the sisters in law never been good to me, feels like everything I'm doing is a mistake. Father's of my two children. Different father who both cheated me, never stop accusing me that I never been good, my Daughter who I supported from the start of her life "ALONE", both son and daughter I do it alone seems the father never pays any attention to them. Daughter who is now telling me I'm a bad mother because She did not grown up beside me which is true because I have to go abroad to work for her needs, specially now that she is in university. And Now everybody" meaning parents, brothers, sisters, daughter they all hated me" and never speak to me while until now I'm still working for my daughter's need and also she don't speak to me any more. I have to be always okay because they said it's my obligation to support them. That they can do what they want and I just should not feel bad even they do hurt my feelings all the time. What about me? What about my feelings? They want my obligation, but what about their obligation to me as my parents daughter, as a sister of my brothers and sisters what about my daughter obligation to her mother at least once for her life even once just greet me on my birthday? Just even once after 15 years of my working hard for her "ALONE" is this fair??????.. They all hurt me badly, "Emotional abuse" is this really only my faith in my life or what? How can I over come this? Pleaseeeeeeeeeee helppppppppppppp...
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 November 2008): Hiya...Please don't worry too much.... dysfunctional is actually quite normal in families..All my family have hated me at some point or another in my life, and this USED to really hurt me and make me feel such a bad person. WHY? because half of the time i LET THEM. There comes a time in your life when you have to START TO THINK ABOUT YOU. I would not expect too much off family in this way, we often think that just because they are family it is our God given RIGHT to be treated good, often not the case. Doesn'T mean they don't love you though. Take a stand in your life self respect and self love, and REFUSE to listen to any bad mouthing and walk away and mean what you say. Learn your daughter independence and break her in to the knowledge that she soon will be old enough to do much more for her self, this is your OBLIGATION as a parent.You are not a doormat and should not be abused or taken for granted. It is not selfish to take care of YOU for once.Why not start to join some dancing or art classes and start to rebuild a personal social life for you. Never put up with blame and anger off others...walk away if you must and feel no regret or guilt.I so hope you can turn your life around REMEMBER you can not CHANGE others but you can CHANGE how you feel! good luck!v.c.d.
A
female
reader, luvy duvy  +, writes (29 November 2008):
 You know what?!... You are a wonderful woman. I suggest that you tell them everything that you just typed a few minutes ago. If they do not listen. MAKE THEM!! If they still don't listen... ask them to talk to you about how they feel, and then you tell them your point of view. If this can not be done amongst yourselves as a family, you should go to family counselling. If they don't want to cooperate at all, you can go alone. Do it for you...I would hate for you to have a mental brake down from all of this.Pray. I hope it doesn't come down to this, but if things get worse...I think you should leave. I know that seems absolutely crazy, but not for long. Just get your self together. Please don't let them drive you crazy. Please. Hang in there! FOR YOU...
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A
female
reader, tammye17 +, writes (29 November 2008):
 hi, I am so sorry you are hurting... it's not fair what you are going throught and I sincerely think that you don't deserve this... unfortunately your mother not giving you her love must have scared you for life and it must be up to you to overcome this. You didn't ask to be born and she shouldn't be like that, tell her you're feelings, is not good to keep everything inside and if she doesn't want you to live your life... she's your mother but it's not fair for you to suffer over someone that hurts you like this, put your daugther in her place, don't let her put you down, you have sacrificed everything for her, you bust your butt for them.... tell them how you feel, stand up for what you feel and believe... if they don't change then live your life. I know it's easier said than done but they'll regret losing you..
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