A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:i have become a emotional wreck,i have been divorced for 2 years.i got my own house and my 14 year old son lives with me,wasnt to much worried about dating,but thought it would be nice to find someone one day to settle down with and spend the rest of my life with,i'm 44 now.i went out beginning of december last year.not looking for any one but met with a guy,while i was waiting for a taxi home.He took my number,and the next day he called me,i wasnt to keen for a while but i gave in and we met.he is single 40 and never been married.We would just meet on a friday and most of the time he would come to my house and we would watch tv and get a takeaway.Then he started asking to come round in the week,i wouldnt allow this at first as my son was there,and i dont want to bring men home,unless there was something in it.anyway he started coming round for a cuppa of tea while my son was there so i let him stay over a few nights,then it became every night.Then he was making hints about moving in all this time he was being nice to me.Then he suggested tiling and decorating my bathroom.i said i couldnt afford it but he said he would do it for nothing for my birthday,so i agreed and let him do it.Then i started cooking him the odd dinner and doing things for him.I started to get well attached to him,and in the beginning he said he wanted to settle down.so i asked him to move in with me,then he said he didnt know what he wanted,and thought it best he didnt.then came out he didnt want to settle down after all.and told me dont get attached to him.he now only comes round when he feels like it,left his work tools here,i txt him sometimes because i feel upset and he says stop sending these silly txts as it doesnt bother him.he seems a very cold man,and tells me find it hard to show his feelings,i asked him does he care about me and he said no.It all just seems he was nice to me in the beginning to get me where he wants me,he kept asking me all the time do i love and miss him,but if i asked him did he me and he said no.he knows i love him and say s he is glad.just one last thing,he was doing this to another women,until she became pregnant and he fled.and says the baby is ugly.My friends tell me to get rid of him,which i am thinking of doing tonight,but its hard when you love someone.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, trueheartconfused  +, writes (27 April 2007):
Hi ;
I think all the people from this site will tell you to
break it off with him ,you know what to do too, it is just
hard. The charming man you saw and fell in love with was not him,it was him wearing a mask , now he has revealed his true self , is this the same person you fell in love with ? Does he still have the same qualities you are looking for in a man?If not, why do you still want to hold on to him? It seems to me,in the beginning you weren't even looking,this relationship was unexpected, you were fine by yourself all these 2 years after divorce. That was an amazing strength you have, many women (including me) can not do that, I've always have difficuilties coping with lonliness, how did
you get through those years before you met this jerk ? Once
you remebered how you did it before , he will have no power
over you , and you will be on your track to find a true
wonderful man.
A
female
reader, Carina  +, writes (27 April 2007):
 Your gut feeling is telling you the right thing. This guy is bad news for you. Think about it: he's single (there'll be a reason)and you know he's done this before. There are some men who are subconscious women haters. They do exactly what this guy has done and are charming and wonderful to begin with. Once they have you in love with them they start to find fault. They've won the chase and they lose interest. After that they enjoy the game of controlling you because they know they can. This man is now enjoying being cruel to you. I very much doubt that you'll ever retrieve the relationship you had with him and I'm certain you'd be better off without him. It's also not good for your son to see you being treated this way. (Even if you haven't talked to him about it, he will have picked up on your emotions).
Break it off completely and focus on your son and other things in your life. Go out and meet new people. I know it's a cliche, but there really ARE plenty of other fish in the sea. I promise. If you're tempted to contact him again remind yourself of all the hurt he's put you through. It will be hard, but be strong. If you want any help in getting over him write to me. All the best.
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A
female
reader, NuttyGooner +, writes (27 April 2007):
 You know in your heart what needs to be done.
I know you love him, but he is turning you into, in your own works, and "emotional wreck" - you deserve more than that!
He said that he didn't want to settle down, and he doesn't care - let him go! You're just going to get hurt even more!Don't give into his games, next time he sends a text, don't respond. It will be hard at first, but if you HAVE to respond, just leave it as a simple "no, now leave me alone", leave it as that! Once he realises that you won't play and dance at his merry tune, he will soon stop texting. He seems like a cold bastard - running off on a woman because the "baby is ugly" - says it all!
Unfortunately, there will always be another woman who will fall for his charms and be used and toyed with like you.
Good luck!
Nutty xxx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2007): well if he wasnt enough of a man to stay with some one because they had and kid and says the thing is "ugly" I say leave him!! you can find some much better!! trust me you don't need crap like this guys like this usally skrew around with your emotions for the fun of it
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