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Totally confused woman!

Tagged as: Breaking up, Dating, Long distance<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (6 August 2009) 2 Answers - (Newest, 7 August 2009)
A female United Kingdom age 36-40, *amaica writes:

im from England, aged 24, and i used to work on cruise ships in 2007 and had the time of my life!!! i loved the lifestyle as i was constantly busy and meeting new people from all over the world. while i was there, i met a man who was from America and he was on vacation. we stayed in touch and i visited him in Connecticut in July 2008. from there, we had a long distance relationship and i finally moved in with him, in america, in April 2009. i absolutley love this man with all my heart, but im just finding it hard to settle into the american life. its so different from Europe and i dont know if i want to stay here. i keep thinking about the ships and he can tell that im having doubts. he has told me he wont leave america. he tells me he just wants me to be happy and i honestly dont know if i will be happy living here. i think i want to do ships again. but that will mean me and my man splitting up as i will be away for 6 months at a time. i really love my boyfriend, hes everything i could ever want from a man, but i just think theres more things i want to do before i settle down. but i dont want to hurt him. help!!!

View related questions: long distance, moved in

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A female reader, natmarie United Kingdom +, writes (7 August 2009):

natmarie agony auntI'm sorry to hear that, and I totally understand how you feel, as the usa way of life is of stark contrast to ours. I'm wondering.. is there any chance he could or would consider moving to Engaldn with you in the future? at lease then there would be an end in view. Also, I hope you don't mind me saying, but are you sure that this problem about feeling unsettled is not more symptomtic of another underlying problem in your relationship with him? also, it's only been a few months - maybe give yourself until xmas, and see how you feel then. You may, belive it or not!! feel completely different and settled by then - give it some time if you love this man. :o) if you are sure that this is not about your realy or unreal feelings for him, then you woe it to yourself to stay. You sound restless, was this a sudden move? maybe you need to get back out there and live a little more? Laos, do try and have a really honest conversation with him about this as soon as possible, as this will clear the air, as I'm sure it cannot be nice for him knowing that you are doubting it all. Natx

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A male reader, deadduderc United States +, writes (7 August 2009):

Since he won't leave America, then go ahead and make the sacrifices for him, but only do that if you are totally sure that you would marry him in a heartbeat if he ever asked you to.

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