A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Twenty six years ago, I left a 13 year relationship because I felt like I was losing my soul. I left to return to my family and especially my daughter who never got along with my lover and lost respect in me because I had become dependent. After all these years, I still have feelings for my ex. A few months, out of the blue, she wrote me that she would be passing through and if I and daughter were availabel, she would like to see us. When she called, I told her that I didn't want to see her, that I felt uncomfortable and vulnerable. She started crying and asked me if I would write to her. I said yes,but now I regret it because she's in a relationship and my with feelings of still loving her. I've been alone for 14 yrs and was fine until she came to town. We've been emailing back and forth, but as friends. I wonder if her lover knows and whether I should move on and get over these feelings.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2009): 26 years is a long time to harbour these feelings. sometimes we do have regrets and really wish it turned out differently. in your case i think because you are now totally alone you want to perhaps resurrect this relationship. if there was something more than friendship it wold have surfaced by noe. i think your ex is in a committed relationship currently and it will be cruel and unfair of you to intervene here. let her be, she is with someone else and you do not want to be a 3rd party in her current relationship.as for regrets maybe it is time to make peace that this is FIINSHED. and move on, make new friends, join a social club, keep busy and stop hoping. a decison was made years ago, now there may be friendship but in your case you want more. don't sow pain and infedility in her current relationship. just let it be. chalk it down to a failed relationship and please i think it is time to finally move on. if it is too hard to be this womans friend then tell her. and stop all contact. you have mourned this failed relationship for too long, nothing will come from recent contact so please cut all ties and look ahead to making a fresh start.
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