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Totally captivated by this guy... but what do I do about it?

Tagged as: Friends, Gay relationships, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (17 July 2010) 7 Answers - (Newest, 21 July 2010)
A male United States age 26-29, anonymous writes:

Hey aunts I'm having a little issue with myself. I'm a 16 year old guy that's starting to get comfortable with accepting who I am... that is I'm STRONGLY interested in guys. And everywhere I go I find myself checking guys out and finding myself attracted to them. But there's this one guy, Tom, I'm totally captivated by him. I don't know why..whenever he's around me I get all hot and bothered. I sometimes even stutter when I talk to him. He's so nice to me and always makes me laugh. He's a good friend. I don't know his status but he definitely catches my attention. And I don't know what to do with myself when I feel so strongly about this person and have to be around them for long periods of time. What should I do? I don't want to make things awkward.

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A male reader, jp21 United States +, writes (21 July 2010):

jp21 agony auntcould you have a girl do it? hmm? do any of your girl friends now your gay? A lot of girls dont even care that guys are gay really, they didn't for me atleast. anyways ask one of them to say one of my guy friends like you and wants to know if your bi or gay?

and hopefully you'll get an answer.

or you can invite him to go to the movies with you.

you can go out for coffee?

maybe he is in the same place you are and likes you but doesn't know how to tell you?

how does he look at you? does he check you out?

does he make excuses to hang out with you?

does he try to impress you and charm you?

he knows that you like him, i think, because

your studdering around him and you dont really

know how to act when your with him,

and he can see that can't he?

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A male reader, CaringGayGuy United Kingdom +, writes (18 July 2010):

CaringGayGuy agony auntI would suggest that you should tell him you're gay but really question him like would you trust him with this news? Is he the type that gossips? Are you good enough friends to still be freiends after you'll yell him? I know that this is tough but after you'll tell him you'll see if he's a true friend like after you've told him if he comes at you next day the same as ever he is fine with your news and might possibly be gay if he does not he's not fine with It and definetley straight. Hope it works out!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (18 July 2010):

Basically, there are two option for you to choose.

Get to know him, be his friends and pay attention to details that could gave you some hint about his sexually. It's important to prepared for the worst when u are ready to tell him that your are interested.

Like the other writers here said, if that is just a crush then let it be. It's good to have crush feeling for a person. It lighten up your life and teen like you should enjoy it.

Best Luck !

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (18 July 2010):

You could try getting a friend to ask him if he's gay if you don't feel comfortable doing it yourself.

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A female reader, Moo's Mum New Zealand +, writes (18 July 2010):

Moo's Mum agony auntWhat you are experiencing is completely normal crush behaviour. It's a real pain feeling like that when you just want to be normal I know. You could try casually asking what he thinks about gay relationships and his answer will tell you whether or not to try and pursue him. Otherwise the only thing you can do is just keep trying to be completely normal around him. The good thing about a crush is that they do go away eventually and life can go on as per normal. Try not to worry things will all work out ok and you will be happy.

Sorry I know my answer is not a lot of help but I remember having crushes myself and there's not a lot you can do except let time sort them out.

Best wishes to you my friend.

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A male reader, der_zyniker United States +, writes (18 July 2010):

Well my suggestion is that you get together with him alone. Then tell him that you're gay. Thing will be awkward for a few minutes at least. However, I find that when I tell someone that I'm gay they tend to tell me if they are gay. They might not tell you at first, but if they are then they'll probably tell you soon afterward. They probably tell you because they want someone to confide in.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (18 July 2010):

Does he know you are gay?! That is very important and you need to know his preference first.

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