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Torn between past and present!

Tagged as: Teenage, Three is a crowd, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (10 December 2008) 1 Answers - (Newest, 12 December 2008)
A female United States age 30-35, *llj1992 writes:

Okay, well it's a kind of a long story but..

When I was 13 I met this kid named, well, let's call him Ken. When I was 13 he was 16, and of course I was head over heels because come on I'm a young teenager and he's an older guy. Well, the thing is, it only lasted probably 3 months, but we broke up because his mom made him since I was Jewish (this family is hardcore bible bangers), not because he himself really wanted to.

Now, never in my life did I hurt myself until this happened, I never felt so withdrawn from life, i cried myself to sleep every night, and it took me 8 months to get over it.. the worst part was that it took him 3 months before he had a new girlfriend. Now I will admit I acted rather like I stalker I even found the youth group he attended and went, which led in him not going anymore so I stopped..

After the 8th month I pulled myself together, I dyed my hair and started wearing makeup and people noticed me in a positive way, boys started to like me and I was over it.. I never went to his myspace or read his comments or cried or even thought of him for that matter..

So along the course of 3 years i got a boyfriend named.. let's call him Sean.. and it has been a year and a half and I am completely in love with him but.. Ken and his girlfriend broke up during the summer..

meaning he is lonely and single and i couldn't help but talk to him, so i asked him to give me synth lessons, since he plays and i want to learn and he started coming over my house to teach me, where we flirted and such

well what I am wondering is even though he hurt me so bad, and did this to me and permanently scarred me to the point where i don't know if I could ever trust another boy/man, should i ruin my year and a half relationship to be with someone i am not sure of?

and if so, how do i tell my ex that i love him even though i am in a relationship?

View related questions: broke up, flirt, my ex, myspace

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A female reader, petina1 United Kingdom +, writes (12 December 2008):

petina1 agony auntOne person at a time is less trouble, so you must make up your mind. You are older now, I can see why his mom stopped the situation before she was looking out for her son. It is a prisonable sentence for sex with a minor, which you were at the time, so she had every reason to put her foot down. Now you are older and seeing him quite often now, maybe you can get back together. You need to clear the air with him and see how he feels about it first. Then if you think you can start again, you need to let your current boyfriend know that you will not be seeing him anymore. The simple reason why it was so hard for y ou is because you were so young and not able to cope with this sort of emotional turmoil. You now have a better idea of what a relationship entails and how to deal with it. At the end of the day it's your choice, I hope you make the right decision for your happiness. good luck. hope this helps.

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