A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My first true love and I recently reconnected. 10 years ago I had a burning desire to move to California. It was a dream I always had and nothing was going to stop me. My ex and I were on and off and when I decided to move we were not together so I had nothing holding me back. The years came between us and I fell in love with another man. The connection was never the same, but the love was there. He is a good, honest, amazing person. One that is hard to find. He loves me with all his heart and shows me on a daily basis. 3 years ago we were married. Right before we were married however I traveled back to my home state and ran into my ex. Everything was there. The passion, the love, the chemistry... you name it. I almost called off my wedding... but something stopped me. I convinced myself that it was because we hadn't seen each other in so long that it was so intense and emotional, but that would pass. I married my now husband and we have an amazing child. I recently came into contact with my ex again. I thought that the feelings would be gone, but they are still there. He says he knows in his heart that we are meant to be together. He compares us to the movie "the notebook." I can feel with my heart and through my chest the love I still have for him and it causes me great turmoil. I told myself that if I had known 3 years ago that I would still have such intense feelings for him I would have called off the wedding, but I thought time would heal all wounds. I don't feel like I am being fair to my husband for "emotionally" cheating on him. Also, I don't have the passion and chemistry with him that I do with my ex. But I do have more things in common with my husband and he is my best friend. I don't know what to do?
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male
reader, Cccc  +, writes (5 October 2010):
 I believe that its truly unfair towards you and your current husband! If youre emotionally connected somewhere else TRUST ME he will start noticing it!
Everybody deserves a chance to be in a happy relationship where BOTH parties feel exactly the same towards each other.Doing what youre doing now deprives him of it.
I know its not easy but LOVE is the hardest thing to do if both dont really like or know where theyre standing with each other.
By the way..How was the EX`s relationship ? was it Solid or constant on/off situation?
A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (5 October 2010):
 Is the fire you have for this other man stronger than the love you have for your current husband? If it is then perhaps you should leave your husband but if it isn't, if you think to yourself that you cannot possibly decide, do you not think that your marriage is worth fighting for?
Or, perhaps, you should leave him anyway, since you even said "If I had known 3 years ago that I would still have such intense feelings for him I would have called off the wedding". Is that how you really feel? Do you regret marrying your husband? If you do, then you should leave him but make sure that this is indeed what you want.
I hope that helps.
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