A
female
age
30-35,
*utexomami69
writes:I live with my sons dad and I have another boyfriend on the side, but I'll explain..my sons dad is 55 and he never--I mean never--touches me, hugs kisses or has sex with me and it's been 2 years. However he thinks we should be together for the sake of our son which I agree but I've spoken to him about this numerous times and nothing changes. He is the bread winner in our home and we live comfortably. However my other boyfriend is so sweet, affectionate, loves to take romantic walks and so on and we been seeing each other for a year, but he is my age and barely makes money as expected until he graduated college. He isn't the typical guy who just hangs on for sex because I've explained to him my situation and offered him many times to breakup and leave but he won't. I'm so confused right now because I want to be happy but don't want to struggle. I've tried living on my own and working but it was just too hard. how do I get the pleasure I'm seeking and be happy too, but not confuse my son because I want him to see me happy?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 May 2011): Good luck, it does not sound like a good idea to stay with this man, the age gap is so wide and it is clearly making you miserable. To be very frank I feel that this man is scared to be alone and uses basic emotional manipulation to keep you and your son by your side, he is also old and really probably would be more attracted to someone his own age and you to someone your own. Try and make him agree that he can certainly find someone else and that you can too. Break if off and be brave! You are still so young and far to young to have the life sucked out of you for the next 30 years...you are not doing your son any favours - he could still see his Dad if you were to go and live the life you want to live.
A
female
reader, Cutexomami69 +, writes (8 May 2011):
Cutexomami69 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI thank you guys for all your comments, I have chosen to stay with my sons dad and dump my boyfriend because I been with my sons dad for 3 years...
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (8 May 2011):
 How do you have your cake and eat it too? You don't.
Few questions: Are you married to your son's father? Is he aware that you have a boyfriend on the side?
I'm assuming he doesn't know you're cheating on him behind his back. Just because he doesn't shower you with affection and you two are basically roommates doesn't justify your infidelity.
On one hand you have your meal ticket..on the other is your lover. Man, being on your own and providing for yourself even a child, is hard. But I know single women who do it every day. So either choose love and work your butt off for the things you want. (like most people do) Or continue to live comfortably with your son's father, but being denied a relationship. The sacrifices you're going to have to make.
Eventually, you're going to have to choose one or the other before your provider pulls the rug out from underneath you and you have absolutely nothing.
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A
female
reader, Cutexomami69 +, writes (8 May 2011):
Cutexomami69 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI understand what you both are saying and I think I might break up with my 2nd boyfriend, however me n my sons dad aren't married, he isn't my husband!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 May 2011): unfortunately in life you can't always get everything you want. you don't want to struggle and live on your own and work, so that means you're going to be dependent on your husband because he's a good provider. You're treating him badly by cheating on him while at the same time taking his money and having him financially support you.you're also being unfair to your boyfriend. You spend romantic time with him, yet you don't make yourself fully available to him all because he doesn't have money and you're too unwilling to part with the money your husband provides.You need to take be an adult and take responsibility and have some self respect. stop the dishonesty - your husband may be emotionally distant but he's providing for you so you at least owe him something either your loyalty or the decency to end the marriage if you can't be faithful to him. If you don't want to be faithful to him, then divorce him. Don't be a gold digger. Decide what's more important to you - the money and comfortable lifestyle, or a romantic relationship. You have to give up something
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 May 2011): Either way. You are married. Whilst that bond exists any romantic relationships are wrong.If you are so unhappy, then divorce. Why stay with someone if neither of you is giving the other what you really want? Believe me, it is far more terrible to drag a kid into a loveless family then to raise it in a separated one.Flynn 24
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