A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have been in relationship with H since past 6 years, our relationship is good, as I remember a lot of happy times and yes a few bad ones but that's how life is. I have had 3 relationships before H which all lasted less then 1 year. My last boyfriend Z was a good friend of mine, we were very close and he liked me like crazy.. I had a been in a relationship so we never got together.. when we dated it was not good the first few months we good then we started having issues like he did not give me time and I used to take pills to sleep constantly but he did not care much.. he was 20 back then and he was going through a lot of emotional stress of studies and financial. Since past two months I have had problems with my fiancé H. we have had a lot of fights and disagreements starting from the bachelor party (it is now resolved and he will not go again he realized he shouldn't have) to drinking ( I live in east and its against our religion and social morals.. my parents would also not allow me to marry a guy who drinks) after several discussions he has decided that he will not drink not for me but for God..I also found out that we are getting married in coming year (I have been dying to marry him, and constantly asking him when that big day would come. and now that its finally coming ive gone ALL COLD)During these tough times, my ex Z texted me asking something ( in these 6 years we occasionally spoke to each other like once a year and always had a disagreement and I would stop talking). He texted me when I was at a very weak point, I told him about getting married in the coming year and all the issues I was having.. we spoke about it and then my issues resolved but me and Z kept talking and growing closer while I was getting very cold towards H.. I was getting cold cause I was angry and when im angry I get very cold and stop all feelings until one day it gets ok..now since my feelings for H are pretty cold, im having thoughts if I should go ahead with the marriage? should I just go back to my ex Z ( although reasons why I left him are still there). the talk is purely on text msgs. My heart knows H is a good man, he will always keep me happy, he loves me and would do anything to keep me smiling. we have had a good life so far.. I don't want to leave him.. but what if I actually love my ex? I haven't missed my ex in these 6 years.i was happy we broke up but now I wonder if he might keep me happier.. he says hes changed and realized everything.please help me think straight? im having stress anxiety due to which I cant eat .. so please I beg you for a good suggestion.thank you.
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 May 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionMy ex is very good with words, and it makes me like him more..
more over a few times late night on text he got a bit romantic and it turned me on so badly.. it felt really bad being turned on by anyone other than my fiancé but how do I get my feelings back for my fiancé?
A
female
reader, sugarplum786  +, writes (29 May 2013):
 Hi, sounds like when things get tough you run for comfort to the ex. That in itself is not healthy as then your Fiance looks worst for wear than the ex.
You and the ex broke up for a reason and by your own admission the past problems are still there. You need to cease all contact with ex and what ever problems you have with the fiance talk to him and work it out. When you introduce a third person into a relationship it just get complicated.
Goodluck
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