A
male
age
36-40,
*olinsky
writes:Yeah, that's it.I'm 24 now and if you look at me, you'd think I stopped developing when I was 14. 6ft and only 135-140 lbs which apparently is a huge turn off for girls. I'm not going to say I've tried everything in order to gain weight, but I have tried a LOT of things and none of those worked for me. I would gain couple of pounds in two weeks and then they magically disappear overnight. You can imagine how frustrating that is after putting all that hard work to get there. Not to mention that buying the right amounts and types of food is very costly and demanding.In the end I'm stuck with my skeleton-like body and my geek-ish looks which is sort of depressing.Do you think I still stand a chance in the dating game? Girls I've talked to have stated that they'd rather have someone chubby than someone who's skinny.I've never seen a girl adore someone's bones actually...And I can deal with the daily portion of comments like "Man, are you eating at all?!" or "Somebody get that guy a pizza FAST". But lately it seems as though girls take one look at me and find me unattractive and I think a big part of it is due to me weight. Yeah, a skinny girl would still be in an unfair position, but quite a few guys will liker her anyway. For a man though it's simply pathetic to be that thin. Especially granted you should be the "muscle" in a relationship and you have to provide protection among other things.It's not fair. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Kolinsky +, writes (8 June 2009):
Kolinsky is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWow, thanks, you guys. That was really nice of you.
Confidence is something else I need to address ASAP, but it's one of those things I treat with the "if only" attitude. The same way most people approach happiness:
If I had this car, I'd be happy.
So I kept saying to myself - "If I was a normal looking person, I'd be happy", but looking back on assumptions I've made in the past, I am most probably wrong about this as well.
Again, thanks. That was really kind of you.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 June 2009): I ate a big bowl of full fat ice cream every night, generally tried to eat larger meals, always put lots of butter (not margarine) on toast and bread, and used full fat milk - that worked for me but it took probably a year.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (7 June 2009):
 The post by Dearkelja made me kind of smile, because where I live the woman customarily has a bigger butt than the man :-). Most of us are plump, but women more so. Only rarely does the man have a bigger butt :-).
On the other hand, I agree with her. If you're comfortable with yourself, then girls will like you. And you don't want them to be attracted to your "rugged good looks" only. They will look at the whole person. So far, what they see is a young skinny guy who is insecure, and only the insecurity is a problem.
Your skinny body seems a problem now, but wait a few years and you'll see how things change. When everyone else will have a belly (bellies are good companions on cold nights, by the way), you won't. That will help you in the "looks" department.
Stay cool, be happy.
As to other guy's comments, everyone gets those and has to learn to respond to them. You need to develop that ability. Let me play one joke on you, but for your sake: since you want "protection", do as Tranquilino Rodríguez, the cousin of that old Looney Tunes character, Speedy González. Tranquilino was the slowest mouse in all of Mexico. Sylvester jumped up to get him... but Tranquilino carried a gun. I don't suggest you buy a weapon, but you can do something about comments.
Don't think of yourself as no good. You're obviously a good guy.
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 June 2009): Here's a girl who likes skinny guys! Trust me, we do exist!
I don't know why, but guys who are even a little bit chubby, or muscly, or even just well built are not attractive to me AT ALL. All the guys I've ever liked have been skinny, kinda geeky guys... I find that shy kinda awkward thing really cute.
I know it's cliched but you HAVE to believe it - some girls go for personality. For me, its guys who are passionate and give a crap about the world and humanity. That's what makes someone attractive to me.
Obviously I can only speak for myself, but I just want you to keep faith in girls :)
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A
female
reader, dearkelja  +, writes (7 June 2009):
 I am personally attracted to men who are confident in who they are and it is very sexy with a man is comfortable with his body. So for me, it's all about how you carry yourself.
Yes, I will agree that there are women who are not into skinny guys and the reason is because they don't want to be bigger than the guy. At least that was how I was when I was into looks. I just didn't like having a bigger butt than the guy.
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A
male
reader, Kolinsky +, writes (7 June 2009):
Kolinsky is verified as being by the original poster of the questionNo, see?
People always tell you that no one is judgmental, but those are lies. No one is their right mind would pick a smaller apple over a bigger one. It's in human nature to reach out for the best.
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A
female
reader, kittykhaos +, writes (7 June 2009):
 you should try and improve your confidence. What is annoying is i weigh 10 stone and im 6 foot and people still think im "over weight" for a girl. while to be fair im not particularly into skinny guys im not into fat guys either my x b/f was 6"5 and 11 stone and while he was thin it didn't put me off that much. Your confidence is your problem here not your weight. Also i had to put weight on eggs are the answer and build up shake (tastes like crap). You may struggle to put on the weight but you can, your still pretty young. As for your geekish looks with out knowing what you look like i can't possibly comment. If your image is a problem you can change it but remember clothes do not make the man but, the man can make the clothes. You could wear a £1000 suit but if you feel under confident in it it will look like it cost you £20 from Oxfam.Not all girls are after some muscle bound man who thinks he can protect his little woman so dont think this is where your going wrong. I have plenty of geeky friends who have no trouble at all but couldn't win afight if you payed em lol.
Good look!
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 June 2009): Everyone likes a different kind of guy, and honestly for me, I love a guy for who he is, not what he looks like! so long as a guy makes me feel beautiful and loves me for me, and there is attreaction, which is more to do with having a connection and chemistry than how someone actually looks on the outside... it doesnt really matter what you look like. But you have the better of the two options, a bit too skinny is WAY better than obese! :) DOnt worry and be yourself and youll find someone who loves you!
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