A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi guys.Can you all tell me why a guy who has a girlfriend is jealous that I am going out with another guy? We have been really good friends for a long time. I developed feelings for him and told him how I felt. He told me he was seeing someone but wanted to still be friends with me because he cares about me as a friend.So I met someone else and since he was not interested in me that way, I decided it was time for me to move on. Now he is acting jealous about the other guy. Why is it that he can have a girlfriend but I cannot have a guy friend? (he is not my boyfriend. We are just going out as friends).I am confused about this. I thought I was doing the right thing by moving on. The rejection did hurt me for a long time and I had to get over him but I think moving on is the right thing for me. I can't understand why as my friend he would not see this.I would really like the guy's point of view on this one but the girls can also answer.Thank you everyone!!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 May 2012): He misses the attention and power he had over you. OP just because he's not interested in you romantically doesn't mean he didn't like how you treated him because you were interested in him. I mean surely you know what it's like to have a friend like that. They'd do anything for you, they're the first to help you with anything, they listen to all your shit, they go beyond the call of duty as regards friendship because they're trying win you over. That can be a pretty big loss.
He's now jealous that someone else gets your time and effort instead of him.
If you're thinking it's because he has feelings for you, think again. He doesn't, he just hates not having his cake and eat it too. I mean when you're in a friendship with someone who has fallen for you, you gain a hell of a lot of things that are a bitch to lose. That is a major ego boost, surely you can understand why that is the case. Surely you've had guys pursue you that you weren't interested in and once they'd given up you kind of missed the attention.
That's all this is. He had his chance, he told you he doesn't feel the same and now he misses the "closeness" you had.
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (17 May 2012):
 My guess is that maybe he thinks you have replaced him as a friend??? Maybe he thinks that since he turned you down and this new guy is not your boyfriend that you are just replacing his friendship. Have you spoke to him about this? Is your friendship still as strong as what it was.
I think your best bet is to tell him how you feel. Ask him what he thinks of your new guy, tell him you still want to be friends and see how he responds. You say he is allowed a girlfriend but not you a boyfriend??? Did he actually say this??
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