A
male
age
36-40,
*errick
writes:my girlfriend and i have been together for 13 months, and have only had a handful of fights. we're both pretty upfront about what we've done in our past-- one instance being that she tried cocaine a few times. we talked about it, and i told her i cant control her past, its no big deal as long as shes not still doing it. she assured me that she wasn't doing it anymore. fast forward to the other night, me, her, and a friend of hers are riding home and she pulls out a bag and told me what she was about to do, and did it. not only was i mad that she had that kind of substance in my car, but that she did it in front of me after i asked her not to.the next day i took all my stuff from her place and left. we ended up talking about it and she said she didnt think i would get that mad, which made me furious. i told her i wanted her to make better decisions for herself and if it meant me dumping her for her to get it then i would leave.i love her to death and I really don't want to leave, but a part of me feels stupid for staying, because in any other instance i would tell someone else in my shoes to be leary of someone like this.should i stay with her and work through my shock, or leave?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 March 2011): She needs to be in drug treatment.
The fact that she showed you what she is doing is a sign that she is losing ground to her addiction. She no longer "cares" that you know.
If she doesn't enter drug treatment, and get routine drug screening, and stay fully engaged in this recovery process, then leave her. Don't enable.
Don't enable...it will destroy both of you in so many ways. You can't control drugs once you take them, they control you.
A
male
reader, Welsh Uncle Dave  +, writes (14 March 2011):
You are right to leave. What she has done is an open slap in the face to you knowing full well your thoughts on this.
If she wants to mess up her life then let her go ahead - the last thing you want is to suffer the same.
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A
male
reader, derrick +, writes (14 March 2011):
derrick is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks for your answer. she said that she didn't want to hide it from me. her friend that was with us does much worse and hides it from her boyfriend.. in any other case id be relieved, but it scares me bc i dont know if ill ever see her the same way...im practically in tears as i type this, thats how torn i am about it.
she told me she did it 2 years ago, and one other time, and then this time. she said ppl talked her into it and she didnt know it was so bad for her (that it could kill her, ruin blood vessels in her nose) until i told her. she said it wasn't worth losing me over so she'd never touch it again.
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A
female
reader, GeeGee255  +, writes (14 March 2011):
 You did the right thing. Maybe you can get her to stop before she gets so hooked she can't get out of it and really screws up her life. Because it sounds like she isn't doing it that often yet at this point.
But if you let her get away with even once in front of you. I am sure she would try to get away with it again and again until you lost any ability to control the situation.
The thing that worries me most is that she is not hiding it from you anymore. Is that because she was with this friend who also likes to get high? Or because she feels the need to do it more often and can't help herself anymore?
Either way you need to stick to your guns or she could not only destroy her own life but drag you down with her as well.
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