A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hello, this is quite a long story, but i will try and condense it as best i can.So what it is about is, five years ago, my female best friend, married her husband. 2 years ago they divorced, but she never told anyone in our circle of friends why. I've always been in love with her, but she doesnt know. One of our friends do, and she is always saying i should tell her. But i keep thinking of what would happen if we did get together and it all went wrong.Just lately though she has been in touch with her ex and i am worried she might decide to get back together with him. They seem to be getting on really well with each other now than before when they were married. She tells me that she would never consider having a relationship with him again because she is in love with someone else. When i asked who, since it broke my heart, she wouldnt tell me.Could it be me or is it wishful thinking? I have had a few girlfriends, but the relationships haven't worked out because all i can think about is her. Everytime i try and stay away from her, even going on holiday for months on end, i am always drawn back to her.I feel quite stupid not doing anything about her, but i suppose it is because i couldnt bear to lose her, if she didnt feel the same way. But then there is the thought of her being in love with this someone else. If it was me, i'd be estatic, but if she told me it was someone else, i'd be devastated.Can anyone help me with this. I am reluctant to confide in any of my friends, except the one who guessed, but she just keeps saying i am dithering, and threatens almost every week to tell her.Thanks for reading.Mark P.s. me and her ex never got on. So now she is back in touch with him, all we do is snipe at one another when we see each other in the pub.
View related questions:
best friend, divorce, get back together, her ex, on holiday Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Jamez +, writes (21 July 2009):
 It is better to have loved and lost then never loved at all.
Tell her just pour out your soul, if she doesnt love you she will understand and so must you and you freindship will only be strenthend.
But you could be lying next to her running you fingers through her hair in the nesr future, whichever way it is better to have loved and lost then never loved at all.
yours considerately
jamez
A
female
reader, flower girl +, writes (21 July 2007):
 The friend that knows is she good friends with this women? could she not sound her out about you or even see if she would confide in her as to who she is in love with.
Maybe she is in love with you but won't say as she is scared of what reaction she may get.
You have clearly felt like this about her for a long time without having done anything about it, how much more time are you prepared to waste thinking about what to do, i would tell her it would be better for you to know how she feels because if she did not feel the same at least then you would know and you could try to move on with your life, and if she does feel the same well then happy days.
Take care.x.
...............................
A
male
reader, Frank B Kermit  +, writes (21 July 2007):
 Firstly, you do NOT confess your undying love for her. That ONLY works when she ALREADY likes you back.
Part of the reason she is in touch with her ex (and do not think for one second that they aren't at least having sex together) is that you haven't made your move yet.
You are angery at her, but you are displacing the anger you feel of yourself ONTO her, becuase you have been inactive in pursuing her.
You have feelings for her, which means your friendship with her is ALREADY over.
MAke a date with her, go out and pursue her like you would other women. But do not confess some overwhelming undying love for her...let it happen more smoothly, as they would on any date.
-Frank B Kermit
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 July 2007): You need to face the issue if your ever going to go anywhere with her. You have to tell her your true feelings and see if its you or not. If its not, then let her go. I know how you feel, but if she's not interested in you, then leave her alone. Who knows, just telling her how you feel about her may not get you the girl right away. After she has some thought about you she could come around for you.
...............................
|
