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female
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*xcat
writes: I'm 38, hes 46, he had been divorced 2 years and has twins with x, she got it all as he still hasnt sorted that part out yet, house and contents,the car and he gets the twins fri-sun once every 2 wk's. we were m8's for 8 months before we got together, we even lost a m8 through us gettin together.the thing is he knows what winds me up and how to upset me, we have been together 8 months now he was 1st to tell me he loved me and how lucky he was, then 3 wk's ago he told he didnt love me. god this hurt, and he knows i will alway make the first move to sort out our problem. this wk end he was meant to come to mine straight after work (nite worker)as he lives bk at his mums, he didnt turn up,i called his mum and he was tucked up in bed, he's says i have no right to be upset and i should look at my actions not his? yep it has been great for the last few wk's, it seems he cant let him self be to happy and does things to put a spanner in the works, but blames me.xxcat ps/soryy if this is to long
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female
reader, xxcat +, writes (7 September 2006):
xxcat is verified as being by the original poster of the question Dont know if this will change any of your minds about what u think or if your advice will be differant, but i didnt put in my first statement that my boyfriend found out in March that he has lymphoma caner and he dont understand why i have stuck around, he thinks most women would have gone, i know sum of you are probly thinking "oh my god cancer thats why hes doin what hes doin" it could well be but the Doctors have told him he aint goin any were just yet, hes probly got another 20 or more year,the cancer isnt goin anywere and that he has to live with it, in time he might need treatment but thay are just goin to monitor his blood count, and when he went for his first visit back to Hospital thay was very happy with him and said nought has changed and this dont mormally happern. Please dont all say well sit down and talk to him about it because in the book thay hand out, it says we have to waite for them to talk about it, we have talked a little when we first found out, i told him i wasn't goin any were and was behind him,that im ear any time he needs me, i drove him to all the appoiments when we found out, for support & i didnt want him drivin his motor bike. This is one reason i havent walked away cause i dont want him or his family thinking im a cold hearted cow and went because of the cancer, i love him & still do evern after the way he has been treating me, fuck knows how i would be feelin if the boot was on the other foot.
A
female
reader, xxcat +, writes (4 September 2006):
xxcat is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank u for your answers, i know what i have to do but its hard, and im fed up with startin again!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2006): it seems that the ex has really screwed him up, and its going to take time for him to learn to trust again, but then how long are you prepared to wait? dont forget when men have kids with someone that attachment to the ex is much deeper than someone they have just dated. maybe it's time to move on and try to find someone that appreciates you. you sound like a very caring person with lots of love to give. good luck. x
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A
female
reader, Aunt Bunny +, writes (30 August 2006):
 Drop him like a ton of bricks lady, He dont deserve you, If he still has issues with his ex then he is not ready for a relationship with you, why would you keep running back to him all the time, you need to dust yourself down and get on with your life dont waste a second more on this loser. All the best X
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A
female
reader, lush +, writes (29 August 2006):
 well the only way i can answer that is to say that people dont always no what they have got til it is gone,this man sounds confused maybe he doesnt know wat u do for him and maybe he does love you but is lost.You could be right some people dont think that they deserve happiness or feel they not allowed to be happy you need to reassure him happiness lies with you and that its ok, maybe he things its oo good to be true maybe he loves you and is scared it will end like his last relationship you need to sit down and discuss this with him let him open up to you
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 August 2006): only thing i can see is that maybe he's been so hurt from the x that he's pushing you away to save himself from it again. maybe he's unknowling testing you. push you to see how long you'll hang in there. see if you are willing to turn the situation around instead of just walking away. have you seen a glimpse of a man you could spend your life with or has this relationship been a battle the whole time? i would just ask myself is he worth all this drama and time.
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