A
female
age
26-29,
*ebelheart1912
writes:So, my ex that i was with about 2 years ago recently started talking to me again. We were together for about 11 months until i found out that he suddenly began to have "commitment issues" and was cheating on me. Well once i found out i immediately left him. Well about two months ago he started coming back around and we hung out a couple of times then he asked me to go back out with him, and of course, me being nice i said yes. he constantly asks me if i trust him and everything and i'm starting to get worried, after the past i haven't even let my family know that we are back together, i don't really know if hes being faithful or no't, and because of the past and me worrying now i dont feel quite the same way about him, i feel as if the relationship is more of a burden to me than being something good in my life. i don't know what i should do. can someone please help me?
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (21 December 2012):
 Your age is 16-17 is that correct?
You have an ex from two years ago so you were 14-16 when you dated? That’s very young…
Of course at this age he had “commitment issues” I’m sorry he cheated on you but you leaving was the right thing to do.
Giving him a second chance.. also very nice of you… and I can understand it.
He asks you if you trust him because he knows you shouldn’t. Even if you do you shouldn’t.
IF you don’t feel the same and you don’t’ want the relationship the best thing to do is end it.
There is no crime in trying again, and there is no crime in failing and there is NO CRIME in NOT being friends with him either. I do not understand why so many young folks now adays (gawd I sound like my grandmother!) feel the need to “be friends” when a relationship breaks up. It’s not necessary and I don’t think it’s healthy.
A
male
reader, Serpico +, writes (21 December 2012):
Oh how you have stumbled on to a gem of knowledge at such a young age.Long story short - relationships shouldnt be obligations, they should be something that is a net value add to your life, not a net value subtract. Once that balance sheet turns negative, something has to change or you need to move on. I realized this at a young age myself. I quickly found it was far better to be single than to be miserable. Patience and discipline has led me to be single for 44 years, and to the perfect woman who I am marrying in June.
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (21 December 2012):
This is a no brainer, in fact I was going answer you by quoting you, but I can see NotDoneYet beat me to it.
Being nice, rejecting someone can seem difficult to do, but you can find a relatively nice way of doing it. In the end, no matter how nice you are it may hurt him but that's something he'll have to deal with himself.
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