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female
,
anonymous
writes: Please give me some advice. I've been with this man for nearly a year, the time has just flown by, he is a fantastic sensitive man, generous kind, attentive and loves me so much, its great to be wanted and appreciated, we have a laugh together, have the same ideas about the future and like the same things. i got out of a relationship that had lasted a very long time and this other guy was not half as nice as the one im with now, but i cant get my head round what i want.I reject this guy im always moaning at him for no reason and i dont know why ! i also shy away when he goes to kiss me and rarely do make a move to kiss him, i dont find him as attractive as my last boyfriend but i know if i let him go i may live to regret it ! because i could be making a big mistake however i cant help thinking there could be some one else out there for me who i feel that click for like my ex just a shame the last one i had the click with treated me like dirt. i feel like a selfish waster and its not fair on my man because he has so much love to give he deserves it back. if i suggested a break to get my head round things he would be heartbroken what should i do ?
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 May 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you for your responses, im pleased to report that things have improved dramatically, we stated going out more and spending quality time together and strange as it may seem we have been togehter a year and ive only just started feeling for him !!! i always knew there was something but i think i was scared of being hurt after a pas relationship was so bad,
im now relaxing and am pleased to finally be at peace
thankyou for you replies
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2007): Hello,
Well, it sounds like you have tried for long enough to feel something for your man - and if it isn't there for you, then it isn't there!
I was in exactly the same situation as yourself - had a wonderful man who worshipped me. But I was so afraid to let him go, in case I was doing the wrong thing.
As time went on, I realised that I just didn't love him. I wasn't in love with him. And it made me so miserable, that I would get moody with him, picking arguments for no reason.
And it wasn't until I was reunited with my ex - even though we were no longer together, that I felt what it was like to be in love! I'd realised that I'd forgotten what that feeling was like.
At that point I realised that I wanted more. I couldn't settle any longer.
I broke it off with him - after 6 months, and I'm now single.
But I'm so relieved as I realise that I was in the wrong relationship.
Hope this helps. Only you know what you truly feel for him. But if you are having to keep question the relationship, something can't be right.
Good luck! x
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A
female
reader, AskEve  +, writes (8 February 2007):
 This guy you're with, nice as he is just isn't for you I'm afraid. There is no chemistry between you and you would only grow to hate him with time. You need to sit down with him and let him know that although you are fond of him and respect him as a person, you just don't feel the same way he does. You've tried so hard to fall in love with him but the feelings just aren't there.
You can't be made to fall in love with someone, if the chemistry's not there, it's not there, simple! I'm sure he'll be hurt but he'll appreciate your honesty. He'll get over it in time and find someone who IS more compatible for him as will you.
You really need to break it off with him sooner rather than later though and saying something like I suggested is the best and most honest way to do it.
Eve
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