A
male
age
26-29,
*bjectivist Thinker
writes:This relates to some previous things, which can be found on my profile under questions I've asked. I have been liking this girl on-and-off for a while, and recently it came back. I'd done some very stupid things w/out thinking over very strong feelings about her and lack of reciprocation or contact w/her, including having others give notes to her, shouting that I loved her in crowded hallways, and making a second, anonymous facebook account to talk to her, none of which went over well, and she hated me. My friend helped negotiate between us that she'd unblock my real profile and I'd be allowed to talk to her so long as I wasn't annoying and I did not repeat my previous behaviour. I've been talking to her for a few days now about school and herself (I haven't mentioned anything in the past besides when she asked why she should keep me unblocked. My reply was that I wasn't a self-loathing, immature idiot unable to handle attraction to anoher person). I aked if she wouldn't mind me talking to her in school, and she said she wouldn't but that would probably be reversed by comments from people at school who know our history and she hasn't told her friends what's happned yet). I quite enjoy this turn of events since I've liked her for 10 months as of present and never thought I'd be able to talk to her like this, which, since this is pretty much what I've been focusing on for the past 10 months, is quite monumental to me and makes me extremely happy.There are currently two problems I'm having about this, though:1.) I don't feel like I deserve her, and I think she deserves much better than myself if we progress to any sort of romantic relationship like I want to.2.) Usually, when I like people, it's almost always only sexual. I've experienced this sort of devotion before w/someone else which never turned into anything and I never said anything, but even though I feel like I love her, I don't want anything sexual w/her and don't like fantasizing about her b/c it feels like using her and objectifying her based only on her looks, and I like her for much more than that. She's extremely smart, so much so that she takes classes in my grade (all of them minus science, but you can't skip a year of that except for in rare cases) even though she's a grade below me (I'm a freshman), she's the most beautiful girl I've ever seen and every time she walks by my eyes are attracted to her. I just don't know how I love her since I want to be romantic w/her and kiss her and things like that but I don't want to have sex w/her. This's gone on ever since I came to the realization that my attraction to her wasn't going to be for a few hours.So, what do you think is going on, and how should I respond to it?
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 March 2010): I think that you've basically blackmailed her into keeping in contact, I mean she only unblocked your profile so that your friend wouldn't pester her, seriously leave this girl alone, you aren't in love , you are obsessed.
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