A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Im feeling so rubbish at the moment, so many feelings and emotions are getting to me. My boyfriend left me a month ago, we had been together for about 2 and a half years, and he was my everything. we split up once before and then got back together last year and our relationship was better than ever, now he has left me again because i "hold him back in life" even though he could do all of the things he wants to do if he was still with me. im just generally confused its like my mind cant accept what has happened. we always said things like "forever and always" and that he would never leave me again because the last time we did it was so painful for both of us. we keep on meeting up and sleeping together, and when im with him i feel amazing and he tells me that he still loves me and misses me, but when i ask him if he wants to get back together he says that he is happy how his life is but that he still wants me to be apart of it. he said he doesnt want the pressure of a relationship. i know that its a stupid that i still sleep with him, and i know it will hurt me more its just a part of me hopes that by doing this he will get back with me, because when we spend time together everything feels so right and perfect i keep on thinking and hoping that he will want me back. im getting fed up of the gossip though everyones talking our breakup, and its making it hard for me, i keep on hearing things about him and it hurts me. i dont like the fact that other girls want him because i still see him as mine as he has been for so long, i just want him back! i hate how i am feeling right now, i feel trapped, i cant ever imagine feeling for another guy in the same way. and all i want is him. i know that still seeing him and sleeping together is making things worse but i just dont want to let go of him. i wish i wasnt so foolish but ive never loved anything more in my whole life. sometimes im fine and sometimes im emotional and confused as i am now, its like a volcano building up with emotion waiting to erupt when least expected. im finding mornings particularly hard because i'll dream about him and how we were together then wake up and reality will hit me. Appologies for the length of this post i just have alot i need to say and get out of my system. Any advice or comments on this would be appreciated :-) the whole break-up thing has really messed me up. thanks for reading x
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 October 2008): Been there, know the feeling. Not nice, but it does get better. Stop sleepig with him. By doing that you are not enhancing your chances of getting together, you are spoiling it. I know what it is like, I was in your position once, it hurts like hell and yes, difficult to resist being physical.But you have to, that is the only way you will get this mess to get sorted which ever way. He might rallize how much he is needing you and missing you and come back or he might move on.
Be strong and learn from your mistakes.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 October 2008): hey i understand how your feeling. Let me tell you this, you want him back i understand that but adding to this want is the feeling of rejection, its natural to feel low etc.A few words of advice, if you want him back then sort this out! If you see each other often, make yourself gradually more scarce, dont always be available dont always come running when he wants his fix.Create that mystery that was their before. He is in his comfort zone right now and is propbably happy he is getting his own way (he is male after all) you need to drag him out of this comfort zone, get him thinking!Show him that you can live a happy life without him! Its hard to do but has to be done. By changing things and his 'routine' alarm bells will start ringing. What he is saying through his actions is that he doesnt want to comitt to you, and you are allowing him to not have to comitt. When he is faced with the decision of all or nothing his true thoughts will come out.It will take time and alot of effort but if you dont create any change then what will change? He is happy with the way things are remember so he isnt going to change that.Become less available, keep yourself busy, do things that make YOU happy wether this is seeing friends, going out, to the gym whatever YOU want to do. Try not to do things to stir a reaction out of him. Remember you got together because you both liked the old you. Become that person again by taking action.Dry your tears and get motivated! there are going to be lows and highs, its all part of the journey and you have to take them in your strideGood luck, hope this helps! x
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