A
male
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Hey, My question might not be too clear because, truly, i'm really worried and I just want advice on what to do next.So, I'm a guy, i'm fourteen and I just started year 10 today. For a few years now I have known that i'm gay but I am still in the closet. The reason I haven't told anyone is because of my school. No one is gay. I'm sure some people are but if they told anyone they'd be bullied for life. I've managed to stay in the closet by using the fact that I'm a nerd to explain my camp-ness. I have had two girl friends that I really didn't get anywhere with, for obvious reasons. I'm really not ready to come out. Anyway, there is this guy I have fancied the pants off of since year 7. He is in my form and he's gorgeous, funny and likes the same music as me. Oh, and he gives off a very 'straight' vibe :( In the three years I have known him I have only spoken to him twice because every time he speaks to me I get really nervous and say something lame. Today in drama we were doing a relaxation exercise and we had to be completely silent. This was brilliant because (let's call him Max. His real name is way cuter than that (: ) Max was sitting next to me and he patted my foot and muttered 'nice shoes'. Even in the silence I managed to do something lame, I pointed at the guy on the left that had the same shoes as me. He just nodded. At least I couldn't blabber on about something unrelated. After class, he asked where I usually go for lunch. I managed to keep cool and tell him that I spend it on the field. He said cool and about half way through lunch he came and sat with my group of friends. That was fun because with everyone there, I could sit back and not worry about an awkward silence. We had a half day and I had nowhere to go so I came home. On the way up the hill, he called me from behind and asked for my number :D !!!So about three hours ago, he called me and said he and a few guys from school had just been jogging and were going to the field and he wanted to know If I could come. I was definitely going to say no. I wouldn't know what to talk about with a group of fit, popular boys from my school and I would have embarrassed myself. But of course, my hormones spoke for themselves and I ended up going.It was great, not awkward at all, until the last guy 'Ryan' left and I realised I was going to be alone with Max. I was about to make up some excuse for having to go home when he put his hand on mine. Being nervous and lame, I pulled away awkwardly. I tried to laugh it off and as I was grinning like a crazy person, he leant in REALLY close. I was so sure he was pulling a prank on me to try and prove that I'm gay that jolted back and made a 'WTF?' face. But he kissed me anyway. I'd just like to explain that this was my first kiss (:D) so it was amazing for me but probably awful for him... When he sat back I couldn't think of anything to say, so we sat in silence until he asked 'So are you gay then?'. I told him I didn't think so but I probably hesitated for too long for me to sound believable. He stood up and I did to, still unsure on if he was about to pull out a camera and start laughing. He asked me if I would tell anyone what just happened and obviously I said no. He then said "Cool", took my hand, kissed my right cheek and said "I'll call you tomorrow yeah?" and he walked off :S I've been thinking for a while and I just have no clue what's going on and what to do. I don't think any straight guy would go as far as kissing another guy to pull a prank and then just walk away. But I really didn't think he was gay either. He has had a few girlfriends and he actually got somewhere with them. And even if he was gay, why would he like me? Plus, he's gorgeous, but I'm not sure if I'm really for a boy friend, I'm definitely not ready to come out. All I ever wanted was someone to talk to about boys because it really can get lonely. This just all seems too good to be true. I've been thinking about it so much I feel sick. I have no clue what to say to him tomorrow or what he's trying to do. Sorry for going on like i said i wouldn't but if you have been kind enough to read this far, I just really want some advice or opinions. Please? :(
View related questions:
bullied, kissing Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Fefi  +, writes (7 September 2010):
 just a question in mind... dont worry, even if you were, i wouldnt tell anyone, im not a snake...
good luck :)
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 September 2010): Yay! So happy for you! :)
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 September 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionLbts? Sorry I don't think so (: why?
...............................
A
female
reader, Fefi +, writes (6 September 2010):
i am so jelous. i know how hard it is to start a relationship with same sex, especially with a very observant school :(
just a question, do you by any chance go to lbts?
...............................
A
male
reader, groovymoving  +, writes (5 September 2010):
Yay for followups.
See, we told you it'll work and it did. I am happy for you, as well as I am for him. All the best for the future!
(And you're welcome!) (:
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOh and 'groovymoving' I say that because on quite a few occasions I have heard him humming some of my favourite songs. For example, last year we were in I.T, I had 'high school never ends' by Bowling for Soup stuck in my head and later on in the lesson I heard him singing it to himself :)
Also, when he was showing the guys (the popular ones) his iPod that still worked even with a huge crack in the middle of the screen, I got a look at some of his albums and saw a few of my favourites like Green Day and Three Days Grace. Thanks for taking and interest and giving me such a detailed answer by the way :)
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the replies guys. You were right. He called me this morning and asked if I wanted to go to town. We hung out pretty much all day, neither of us brought up what happened yesterday while we were there but it was fun spending the day with him and getting to know him. When we got off the train, on the way home, we went through the woods and he told me that he thinks he might be bisexual. It weird, I always thought of him as the kind of guy who would say what he thinks nevermind the consequences, but when it come to his sexuality. I told him that I lied yesterday and I think I might be bisexual too (it's easier to admit than being gay). We both agreed that we didn't want to tell anyone, which is great! And when we got to the gate that leads to his street he kisses me, twice :D Just a few minutes ago I got a text from him asking if I would go out with him :) I'm going to go and see if he is on facebook...
...............................
A
male
reader, Boonridge McPhalify +, writes (4 September 2010):
 he is so gay- go for it!
...............................
A
male
reader, der_zyniker  +, writes (4 September 2010):
If you really do like him then go for it. At straight guy wouldn't kiss you to find out if you were gay. It just makes no sense. He sounds like a really sweet guy. When he said that you have nice shoes he was just trying to start a conversation with you. I know you are worried about people finding out that you're gay if you start dating him, but to others you can make it look like you two are just really good friends. You don't have to come out of the closet.
...............................
A
male
reader, groovymoving +, writes (3 September 2010):
He is into you. That is a definite fact. And you are into him. Let's sum it up: you are into him and he is into you. Obviously, this is your chance and instead of saying, "Take it or leave it", I'll simply say, "Take it!"
You may feel awkward and that you are not worth of him, but trust me, you are. There's someone out there for everyone. May sound cliché, but I truly believe it. He's probably been fancying you for a while, even at all the times you've mumbled something silly in return to whatever he had said.
About the coming out in order to date - I'm rather sure that he's not interested in coming out either, since the way you described your school certainly sounds anti-gay. In other words, you're most likely in the same boat with him, wanting to date but doing it in private, away from the public eye.
Basically, just make it clear that you're interested in him and you'll soon experience something wonderful.
I hope my words were/are of help to you. Please update with what happened. :)
PS: Just out of interest, which music do you both like? (:
...............................
A
male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (3 September 2010):
 He's gay and he likes you.
Stop over-thinking it bro.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 September 2010): I think he is gay darling and he likes you so relax continue with this secret love affair;)
...............................
|
