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female
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Catlova
writes: There is this 14 year-old boy that I have known for four years and like as a younger brother as well as a friend. The problem is that he seems to have a crush on me. I know that he and I couldn't legally date and have sex until he is the minimum age of 18, but I think that he may be causing some problems. His parents don't seem to oppose against me as being an adult friend and role model to him, but I know he is just too young to date me right now, and besides I am already interested in another guy who is closer to my age. I don't mind if he wants to be my friend, but I am not interested in dating him at this time, besides it would be illegal anyway.
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female
reader, DrPsych  +, writes (31 August 2006):
 Try not to worry - 14 year old boys have the attention span of a goldfish and he will have a crush on someone else sooner or later. Just keep the boundaries of your friendship well maintained and don't have any bodily contact - an innocent pat can be misconstrued when you are 14 and your hormones are raging! You sound very mature and capable of handling this - don't embarrass the guy by bringing it up unless you get into a situation where you really need to do that. It will just be a phase - I used to fancy my brothers mates as a teenager just because they were male, had a pulse and were readily available as they were near the house all the time. By 18, I didn't like any of them as I discovered there were more boys in the world than the sum total of his mates and the boys in class.
A
female
reader, snowbird  +, writes (31 August 2006):
 You obviously like the kid, so how about saying something along the lines of, say, "when I was your age I used to get crushes too, but you know you are too young to be thinking about dating"... Tell him that he is a nice boy and you like him as a friend and that you are flattered by his attentions, but he should find a girl of his own age to be friends with. He will get the message that you are a platonic friend, and will know his boundaries without getting hurt in the process. (Aww, ain't they sweet?!)
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