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Thirty Three Years of Marriage with the last 6 years of no sex...

Tagged as: Marriage problems, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (29 April 2013) 4 Answers - (Newest, 1 May 2013)
A female United States age , anonymous writes:

My husband and I haven't had sex for 6 yrs. I brought a vibrator and love using it... I've tried to make my husband want me by posing naked and doing sexual dance moves ... He is still not moved by my moves, does this means he doesn't want me? He's 65 and I'm 59 and love sex... I'm like the AT and T commercial " I want more, give me more..." Question: do I still use my dong toy or wait until my husband want me.

Thirty three yrs married

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (1 May 2013):

Yes, it does mean he doesn't want you - sexually speaking. Show him some porn with younger actresses (20s-30s) and see if his junk works...chances are, it will. Why? Because, and please take no offence to this as I'm simply being honest, the body of a 59 year old probably isn't all that appealing to him.

Now that doesn't mean he doesn't love you - it's just biology at work.

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (30 April 2013):

So_Very_Confused agony auntuse your toy for sure... you can even use it with your husband

6 years and his age is 65, have you talked to him about it?

has he had a medical workup to make sure everything is ok?

he needs a complete physical and he needs to tell the doctor he has no sex drive (if that's the case, if it's that he's just not into you, then there is a totally different issue)

if he is willing to get the medical workup (including hormone levels and all of that checks out normally (although he may have LOW-T which is sort of the male version of menopause) then that may solve the problem

if he refuses to go for help and he says there is no problem and he won't talk about it, then you can either continue the way you two are, ask him for a divorce or ask him for permission to take a lover.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (29 April 2013):

Honeypie agony auntHave you tried to TALK to him about this?

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A female reader, AuntyEm United Kingdom +, writes (29 April 2013):

AuntyEm agony auntHe may have some sort of medical problem or he might just have come to the end of his sexual life and lost his libedo.

Ask him if he'd like to go to see a sex therapist or a counsellor to see if a solution can be found. If he has completely given up on you and sex means that much to you, then perhaps he would allow you to have an open relationship so you can find a sex partner?

There is nothing wrong with using sex toys and if he doesn't mind, maybe he could just supply the cuddles!!

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