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Things have cooled after three months of dating

Tagged as: Dating, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (27 December 2013) 2 Answers - (Newest, 27 December 2013)
A female Malaysia age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Hi everyone. I am 25, and my bf is 23 years old. I am local and he's a foreigner in my country. We are together for almost 3 months, its only the 3rd month supposingly we are still in the honeymoon state but i realized we dont talk to each other that much anymore. whenever we are together we sat quietly. Clueless of what to do.

I tried to call and talk to him but everytime when he answers the phone his voice is so cold. Also he doesnt call or text me as much as before (he used to text me 24/7). I was so sad about all these at first and i talked to him but we never reach an agreeing point.

Now i think im losing it I dont feel that much sad anymore, and the break up idea occurs in my mind frequently. I dont wanna give up that fast because I know i do love him. What should I do?

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (27 December 2013):

So_Very_Confused agony auntyou don't love him... you don't really know him.

and 3 months is the first point of realizing that the relationship is doomed... if you push through this then the next crisis of failure will be easier to push through...

at 3 months in not much has happened that you can't and shouldn't walk away.

stop calling him

stop asking to see him

stop making plans for him

if he calls and asks you out... go

but stop rowing the boat alone... let him do some of the work.

sometimes we need to spend some time together with folks before we realize that it's not going to work with them.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (27 December 2013):

I don't think you love him as you say. Your relationship is very new, and it hasn't been tested by time. You both may have decided to commit too soon. You were attracted to each other; but that may be about it.

People are quick to use the word love, when they are often infatuated; or very attached to another person. Love is a very deep emotion; and it has to be reciprocated in order to be valid.

The difficult part of your situation is getting your mate to open up and admit how he feels. This is like pulling teeth from a bird, as far as men are concerned. His only attraction to you could be sexual; but he may never admit that.

If there is no communication and you're bored of each other so soon; your relationship has reached it's peak already.

He is showing very little interest in you.

I would end it now; while it isn't that difficult.

You said you don't feel as sad about the possibility as you may have before. So dump him now, and move on.

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