A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ok, so about a month ago I wore off having any involvement with men. My last couple of relationships have just been awful. There was the guy who forgot to tell me he was married, then the guy who was meant to be my best friend but who after sleeping with me told me he just wanted to be friends with benefits, then the guy who went from being crazy about me one minute, to being completely silent the next, and then the next minute being really in to me again. It got really stressful and I felt I would be far etter just spending my time concentrating on my studies. I'm a first university student. The last month has been really great. I've been so much less stressed and have been able to just focus on my work. I've done better essays, I feel more relaxed and even my mother said I was looking happier when I went to visit her lately. Problem is.... the lastcouple of weeks, I've developed a bitch o a crush on a guy in one of my history classes. He's really sweet and comes to sit beside me a lot. The other day we were in lecture and I was sitting in a row with nobody else and he came and sat beside me. Thing is though, he's a bit shy and that's really not my type. Though when I said this to my friend she said that all the last men who were my type turned out to be complete tossers so maybe I shoudl give this guy a shot?On the other hand I'm not sure if I want to go anywhere near another man right now. Not because I'm not over any of my ex's, just because things have been so much less stressful this last month and I'm not sure I want to change that. But at the same time, I like this guy. Thoughts?
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best friend, crush, friend with benefits, my ex, shy, university Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2008): I'm glad you had the courage to get rid of these men who were no good for you and spend some time alone.
If this guy is shy, he may also be an ideal person for you to be with who would be happy to be friends and let things develop slowly. It sounds to me like you need to check someone out before you get involved so this would give you the chance to do just that.
A
female
reader, deejuliet  +, writes (20 November 2008):
 Doesnt it seem that you always find someone just when you werent looking? I say give him a shot. Just a date or two should let you know if it is worth pursueing or if you should go back to your sworn celebacy. I do think it is probably best to not date right now so you can concentrate on your studies with less stress and all. Guys take up way too much time and energy that should be going to your studies. There will be plenty of time to find a mate later! Dont worry about that! But on the other hand, you dont want to pass up on someone great and then always wonder. So go on a date or two and see...
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