A
male
age
36-40,
*allandsilentaintallthat
writes:I'm a very quiet person. I love knowledge and music but I have a terrible time meeting others and leading a conversation with women. It seems to only be this way until I get to know someone but it is incredibly difficult for me to get to that point! Apparently, because I am so quiet most women find me to be creepy. I don't want to get into anyone's pants I just want to make some good female friends!! Any advice on my problem? Thank you for reading this. Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2008): I was very shy when i was younger but i had to overcome this and make myself meet people. Not easy but i did it.
take care
xx
A
female
reader, thatgothgirl20 +, writes (19 March 2008):
 I am shy myself, but I've been in situations where I liked someone, and after getting over my initial shyness, I made myself be near them. You might get to a point where you seem interested in someone so much, that you make yourself get over your initial shyness as well.
...............................
A
male
reader, tallandsilentaintallthat +, writes (19 March 2008):
tallandsilentaintallthat is verified as being by the original poster of the questionTo happytochat, I really appreciate your response! Perhaps I will try thinking of a list of basic questions... it seems like such a simple idea but maybe it will help! Thank you for the ideas :)
...............................
A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (19 March 2008):
 Mm, let's see. I think it's safe to assume that you do want to get into a female's pants. At least I did when I was your age (and I still do). Wanting to get into a female's pants comes with those three little birds you got when you were born. I know what you mean, though: you're not a player, you want to have female friends, too, and a girlfriend would be the icing on the cake, but you have trouble relating to women.
You're not alone in this. You will find that so many men have a similar problem. The road ahead will be long and winding, but I suppose you can start by looking at what you have done wrong all this time. Pleasant lies won't do you any good: you need to know what the hell is the matter when you try to talk to someone. And don't repeat that again.
Usually the problem is that you're very shy, your hands shake, you sweat like you were burning in hell. You also mentioned you love "knowledge and music", which might mean you're a little too nerd. That complicates the problem.
Try to take baby steps meeting people. And, most of all, don't worry: someday the playing field will level. You see, now you're only the nerd in the classroom. Tomorrow you might be the one who makes more money and has a brighter future. Now that will play in your favor. In the meantime, learn what you're doing wrong.
...............................
A
female
reader, happytochat  +, writes (19 March 2008):
Hi,
First of all I want to say I know how you feel. I am a shy person too and it takes a while for me to get to know someone else. However it is very rare to find someone who is willing to wait around and be patient while you become comfortable with them. Often people misjudge shy people and assume things such as they arent interested in them, they are rude, distant etc and in your case, creepy.
I dont really understand how/why they would think you are creepy because you are shy though.
Anyway, my best advice to you is to smile at people when talking, to show you are interested, and look them in the eye to show you are sincere. Have a list of pre set questions in your head to ask people before meeting up with them and perhaps have some pre set questions for meeting strangers, for example, you might ask them about where they work, and if they like it etc...talking about work is usualy a easy topic I think. Just take baby steps, you dont have to take a big leap into the deep end. Hope this has helped :)
...............................
|
