A
female
age
41-50,
*unflowerBeauti
writes:my kids father and i just recently reconnected and before the sex was amazing and now its terrible, i just made him stop and get off me i am not satified with the way he handles me. i try to spice it up but hes not intrested. its like were 2 dead people lying there and then you here aagguhhh! and its over. i miss my old lover, will this improve between us? or shall i just leave? or shall i cheat! remind you my last boyfrind is not relationship materail!!! Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, DV1 +, writes (24 June 2007):
 If you two can't satisfy each other, you're not in a relationship. You're wasting time and energy.
It's not right to cheat on him because you're not getting satisfied. If you'd rather cheat than improve your marraige, you didn't deserve him making love to you, and/or marrying you in the first place.
DV1
A
female
reader, SunflowerBeauti +, writes (23 June 2007):
SunflowerBeauti is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni know flower girl but what i didnt tell you was that i have tried talking 2 him and i get no response from him and i also know that counseling is ou of the quesstion, i dont really want 2 cheat on him & 2 tell you the truth i wont do it. im just fustrated with the whole situation! i did apologize 2 him this morning & asked him if he would go get some therapy, w r supposed 2 get married in September, hopefully we can get this resolved by then, thank you flower girl 4 yo fed back & if you have any more advice please feel free 2 give it 2 me i need it... dear aunty sarah thankyou for helping me out but 2 be honest i do truely love him and i couldnt image my life with out him like i previously stated i just was a little fustrated last night i wont cheat on him he deserve better than that i guess he probaly going threw something i dont know but im in it for the long run with him and dont have no plans of leaving him and im threw with my old lover 4 good, thank you 4 yo response
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A
female
reader, flower girl  +, writes (23 June 2007):
 Ok so your kids father is relationship material but not so good anymore in the bedroom department, and your old lover was the opposite, now i know sex is not everything but i know which of the two i would prefer.
Things will probably not improve unless you completely open up to him and tell him how you are feeling there is so much help now out there for couples especially in that department.
You ask if you should cheat on him now that would not really be fair and do you honestly think it would make you feel better having what only might be good sex, and at the same time knowing what you are doing to your partner.
If he really is relationship material then you should reaaly try and get help to get this sorted.
Take care..xx.
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A
female
reader, Aunty Sarah +, writes (23 June 2007):
 I fear that you do not love him any more. This is transmitted in your body language to him. As humans our sub concious is afraid of failure - we tend to go back to mistakes we have made to a- reassure our selfs that it was not our fault, or b- to rectify the failure.It's time to move on.
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A
female
reader, Carina  +, writes (23 June 2007):
 This is confusing. Why has the sex with your kid's father gone from amazing to terible? That's the first thing to work out. I don't know why you split up in the first place but is there a chance he's feeling insecure with you now and not confident to perform sexually how he used to? It sounds as though you're being very tough on him. Making him stop and get off you isn't a very tactful way of dealing with the situation.
If you want this relationship to work then you need to do some proper commujnicating with him about why things have changed and what's going through his mind. I'm certain you can improve your sex life with him, but it will require some understanding on both sides. Be frank but be tactful. If necessary you could visit a relationship counsellor together.
If you really love this man you wouldn't just up and leave him because there's a glitch in your sex life. Nor would you be considering cheating. I think you need to ask yourself if you want to be with him or not. If you do then work on it. If you don't then leave him now before everyone gets very hurt. Hope this helps a bit.
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