A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ok... I am a 20 years old girl turning 21 in 3 days time. I have dated a guy for 4 years we broke because i was insecure due to him befriendings girls. Okay november 6th 2012 i broke up with him cause i've had enough. Few weeks later i decided to date this guy who has been asking me out for a year. He is sweet nice and all that but each time i enter his place he just want to be on top of me. Which i hate. My ex never stoped wanting me back so in the process i got confused not knowing where to go forward or back. So i've realised i still love my ex tho i don't trust him at all. And the new guy is too much. What must i do???
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broke up, insecure, my ex Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you all so much for you answers. By the way the reason why i got a new bf is because my Ex, was my best friend, my pillar and my boyfrnd @ the same time. So without him it meant i was gonna be lonely, so chose to move on... Grew up dad being very strict, i don't drink nor smoke, i dont party and you will never find me outside @ nite. So basically i am an indoors type if i am not @ school you will find me at home. So when i dated my ex with him was the 3rd place you will find me @. I made him my all and that's why i blame him for who i am now. So guys thank you for taking time its really appreciated. I think i will opt to being single, and try building my self esteem, my life and finding myself and what i really want again. That means i will be lonely but hey its worth it.
A
male
reader, CMMP  +, writes (15 February 2013):
I'm married but would never ever cheat on my wife. That being said, there are girls I know who I'd ask out if I wasn't married.
You give him too much credit here; HE didn't turn you into a jealous wreck, you turned yourself into one.
I mean, did he cheat on you? I assume you would've mentioned it if he did. What that means to be is that you were expecting him to stop being friends with women because you were insecure, not because he did anything wrong.
Granted, if he didn't have female friends this might not have happened, but it doesn't mean he did anything to MAKE you that way, your ways of life were just incompatible.
Not to mention you could have left... I'd still say that you should break up with your boyfriend and forget about your ex. Think of it as a character building exercise.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 February 2013): You are insecure and unable to be single because you have self esteem issues. No man or relationship is going to be able to fix that for you, only you can. As for being jealous of his female friends because they call him? You realise that's what friends do right? Call/speak to each other, meet up etc. He shouldn't have to cut off all contact with the opposite sex because you are insecure. I can pretty much guarantee you will ignore this advice, but I think you should, nay NEED to be single for a while and learn to love yourself before you enter into any other relationships.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 February 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWhy can't i be single?? Honestly i have no idea hey.... Ex Befriending women well they would call him anytime even when i am round. He visits and call them when i am not around or when he is bored. And this other time he introduced a chick to me as his classmate n friend @ campus, well he ended up asking her out. He still communicates with his exs who leave few streets away frm his house. And I live 10mins away by driving 30 to 40mins when walking. So technically he turned me into a jealous and insecure chick.
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (14 February 2013):
Why don't you just be single?
BTW what's wrong with female friends?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 February 2013): Take the third option - get rid of them both and be on your own for a while. It will be good for you.
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A
female
reader, loner35 +, writes (14 February 2013):
That's where the old saying of "can't have your cake an eat it" to comes in. It seems you're happier with your ex. You just have to figure out why him being friends with other young ladies bothers you so much.
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