A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I recently met a lovely man on a dating website, we met up and things went very well. He is 20 years older than myself and is divorced with a son. We have being seeing each other for about 8 weeks. I stay round his house 3- 4 times a week and we get on very well and always have a lovely time. He broached the subject of becoming exclusive and started calling me his girlfriend and told me he didn't want me seeing anyone else. I cannot fault him as a person, he is loving caring and affectionate, my perfect man. As I have been through many bad relationships in the past, I decided to check whether he was still on the dating website and he was, and he had been on the site only the day before. He leaves his phone around and there is no passcode on it so I checked his messages, there were texts from another women, he text her asking why she had stopped speaking to him the night before and that he had been called to work tonight, which was untrue as I was seeing him. She then went on to say he made her feel cheap, and used, but then ask him to meet up with her the day after next, I know his rota and knew he was working so, knew this was not possible, he replied I'm busy, I will speak to you tomorrow. Which was very blunt and uncaring. I do not know what to make of it. I do not know whether as the relationship is new whether this is exceptable, and how I can go about bringing the subject up with him. I realise it is wrong to go through peoples private things but as he leaves his phone around and is very open, I presumed he was telling the truth. I am very confused...
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 April 2012): Please walk away, I was in your situation. I found out the man I was seeing was still on dating sites after 4 months of being together. He swore he was not. I met his family and I kept leaving him he kept pestering me and I took him back. It went on and off for almost 5 years, gave me a lot of stress and pain, made me very insecure. Finally I closed the door for good and I have not talked to him, I have not responded to his emails and I feel better for it. It has been 4 months now, I'm better off alone if I am not with a monogamous person. He will not change, save yourself heartache.
A
female
reader, Deagan +, writes (12 April 2012):
 I do not recommend any sort of sting operation, do not get yourself any more involved.
It's quite obvious this guy is a player. He is playing you and numerous other women.
This other women felt "cheap," so perhaps end this relationship before you start feeling the same way.
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A
female
reader, Moo's Mum  +, writes (12 April 2012):
 What a cheek he has telling you you are not to see anyone else and he's still carrying on. You need to work out some kind of sting operation here. Txt the other women and get her in on it too.
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