A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I started talking to this guy on an iPhone dating app and he seemed to really like me. I gave him my number and we startes texting and Skyping the same day, we really hit it off. Only problem is he lives about 1000 miles from me :( well we've only been talking for about a week and a half and he seems to be distancing himself... he told me one night that I am a very negative person (b/c I've been hurt before and I always want him to reassure me). Then he told me he will give it all he's got to make it work and just a couple days he was so into me whereas yesterday he seemed completely different. He didn't text me nor did he ask to Skype. I want to ask him if I did/said something wrong but then he'll just say I'm being negative...I admitted to him that I really liked him just the other night and of course now he's distancing himself..I swear every guy is the same...my question is how do I go up bringing this to him without sounding negative or clingy? I really like him and want to get a chance to meet in person I'm just afraid I won't get that chance :( I never know if it's just better to wait for him to just talk to me or should I ask him and how do I ask? Thanks and please no rude answers.
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2011): So Very Confused's answer is perfect, and right on.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (10 November 2011):
 "thanks and please no rude answers"
wow... define RUDE.. is that where we tell you what you dont' want to hear?
you don't bring it up... after ten days it's not really anyting yet.... and clearly he's already feeling that he made a mistake....
you are very young
you have not met IRL
and you are 1000 miles apart...
you like the attention
you like the potential
you like the words....
you don't LIKE HIM you don't KNOW HIM....
maybe he didn't feel good yesterday
or he had to work
or he fell asleep
or he was busy with school or something else
or he had a date with a local girl....
or he went out with his buddies...
a zillion reasons he didn't contact you but texting is no way to have a relationship...
LDRs are hard
LDRS when you are young are harder
LDRs when you have not met IRL are a bit insane IMO... sure you can like each other but until you plan to meet face to face I would not put all my eggs in one basket...
I just finished an LDR... my man moved down to be with me after a year of being LDR (we've been serious 8 months now)
LDRs are harder than close contact relationships...
you need:
communication
patience
honesty
trust
plans to visit regularly
and a plan to close the distance.
granted all these things are putting the cart ahead of the horse right now...
you say "I admitted toh im that i really liked him....every guy is the same"
if every guy is the same then you need to look at YOURSELF and figure out what
a. attracts these types of men to you
b. what you are doing that is causing it
admitting to a man you have not met yet that you REALLY like him is probably a big red flag for a young man that is probably interested in just flirting around a bit...
...............................
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