A
female
age
41-50,
*inyG
writes:There's a guy I met in a chatroom that I really like.I just want to find out if he likes me likes me.We don't flirt but he mirrors me alot in our chat. He private messaged me the other day and he always tells others in main rooms he doesn't do that but I apparently can now. Our convo is never flirtation just chat he says I'm his friend if anything.What does this all mean? I'm confused. Don't want to scare him off.Advice please.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2016): A few years ago I joined a chat site as well. I met a guy there, admin of the site. Here are things he did that shows his interest, you can look for similar signs:
1. He asked to add me to a private chat app on my phone where not only can we text, we can voice message each other.
2. He always voice messaged me instead of text.
3. He announced publically in the chat room that I'm the female Admin and gave me admin access to his chatroom.
4. He would stand up for me if other guys aren't nice
5. He makes known in chatroom his interest in me
6. He voice messages me when he wakes up every morning, through out the day and before he goes to bed.
7. He planned a trip to come visit me
A
female
reader, TinyG +, writes (4 October 2016):
TinyG is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYep I know.. all this.. I've had a seven year relationship that ended earlier this year. I do know about forming relationships in the real world.. it's just I like this guy can't help I do. But hearing advice from strangers has helped me clarify that I'm being foolish. I know
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 October 2016): Where do you get any idea this guy likes you accept having a chat? Flirting is the signal people send out to each other to initiate a romantic connection. He has no idea what you look like, and you can't see him!
My dear, don't let loneliness read more into this than it deserves. He's just a chat-buddy. He has not asked you out, has made no overtures to get to know you, and just chatting aside means he just likes talking to you.
Get out and be social to allow yourself to be visible and available. Anonymous conversations with strangers you've never seen or met can become habitual; and you'll form a dependency on faceless conversations. People can form a fake personality and tailor it according to your specifications. They remain in hiding and never really meet you in order to maintain that imaginary persona.
You need the practice of face to face interaction, or you will find it difficult to connect with men on real-time. People have become totally enslaved to social media; and have underdeveloped social-skills as a result. Online-dating and chat rooms are fine, but you need exposure and the intimate exchange of human to human contact without a device in-between.
Don't develop feelings for someone unseen based on nothing but a few conversations. That's a sure sign you need to get out more, and hiding behind devices has become all to common for us these days.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 October 2016): You really have to look at this in cold light. Do you know who he is? He could be so many things. A teenager, an octogenarian, a sex offender, ANYBODY!!Mirroring your messages looks like nothing other than laziness to me. You could both have a special connection that only the two of you share or he could be doing this to tons of people, using the I don't PM as a rule and then PMing them to make them feel special.The trouble is until you know which scenario you REALLY have, how on earth can you invest so much time and emotional energy into a what amounts to a fantasy?
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A
female
reader, TinyG +, writes (4 October 2016):
TinyG is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThankyou so far for all advice. My fears were answered it's a good job I didn't make a fool of myself with him. I won't wish for anything but his friendly chat from now on. I always find it hard when I like someone to get clarity in my own judgements
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (4 October 2016):
 " We are friends if any " does not sound romantic to me.
It means literally, although said in a kinder way : " We are nothing to each other, IF ANY, i.e. at most , we are friends and drinking buddues ".
Although it woud depend from what exactly prompted this exchange.
You said he got weird with you, what do you mean ? weird like what ?..
Anyway, it sounds that he felt too he said something inappropriate, that's way he PMed you to apologize even if ( he says ) he does not PM other people.
As the other ladies have suggested, you should enjoy the chat and have fun with the convos, without spinning too many fancy tales about him yet. Time will tell, for the moment what he does is not clearly showing that he likes you. Who knows, now that ice is broken and you PMed each other maybe your personal convos will continue and you can get to know each other better and something may come out of it... but, as of now, don't get over-excited.
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A
female
reader, TinyG +, writes (4 October 2016):
TinyG is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell I think that's answered my question lol. Light hearted keep it cool don't read into it. Thanks for being candid I'm not very good at reading signals when I like someone I tend to mess up big time...because the feelings cloud ma judgement ??
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (4 October 2016):
 I think if he was genuinely interested in more he would ask for your e-mail or your phone number.
So just enjoy these fun conversations. Don't read more into it than it is.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (4 October 2016):
 Ya know when I was an AOL chat room girl I could juggle 3-5 guys at a time and they all thought they were my only one...
You don't know him... the chats are fun and exciting to you but he may very well have 3 other open windows of PMing going on, he may have a wife sleeping in the next room
or worse he may not be who he says he is...
it's fun and games and it's never going to amount to more than chatroom flirting especially since you guys are an ocean apart.
he likes you for fun and games, don't buy the dress.
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A
female
reader, TinyG +, writes (4 October 2016):
TinyG is verified as being by the original poster of the questionSo he's super chill.. He's American and I'm British. We've chatted in main room alot.. it's fun and light hearted in a bruh kinda way he's not a man of many words he teases me gently. We play a drinking game just me and him. It's silly but super cute sometimes I feel like it's just me and him there. I do this thing where I post hm and then he does and I say hiiii and then he does and I say how's you? He says I'm all chill and I say me too. It's all super cheesy but I love it.we totally mirror each other and we do it alot.. He doesn't seem to mind I call him baby or honey the amount of flirting I dare to do.trust me. But he never flirts. One fellow chatter says he likes you and he posts nah.. is he embarrassed cuz its in a public chat room? He got a bit wierd with me the other night so I left ears burning flame red. Then this happened this guy doesn't PM and tells girls regularly that he doesn't. And there he is pming me.. hes real sorry and I'm his friend and drinking buddy if anything dnt be mad at him he wouldn't be pming me if he wasn't bothered. We pmd for hours last night. But it was light and no flirting mixed signals confused!!! I don't wanna scare him off does he like me?? How do I know how do I keep my cool? I can't stop thinking about him...
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (4 October 2016):
It means he isn't looking for a GF, I think. What he is looking for is someone(s) to talk to. And that he likes talking to you. Doesn't mean he likes YOU as a person, because he DOESN'T really know you.
IT means nothing to say he doesn't PM people. He probably said that to screen WHOM he wants to PM/get PM's from and whom he doesn't.
Do you know where he lives? Does he know where about you live? Has that been talked about?
He could have a partner/wife/GF and just be looking for people to connect with, or he could be single but NOT looking, he could have social anxieties and like to talk to people online, but not in person. There is no way of knowing as you REALLY don't know him, just the persona you see online.
So, I suggest you regard him as a friendly "face" you talk to online. Nothing more. Who knows over time you two might find a way to meet up in person and talk too. You might not.
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