A
female
age
36-40,
*IMBERLIE
writes:please help me. me and my ex split 5 months ago, when i suffered a miscarriage and he told me he didnt love me anymore, but since then we have carried on seeing each other all the time and acting like we are together. he has told me consistently that we will never get back together, but i have lived in hope. recently though, i have become close to someone we both know {more him than me} and there have been 3 occasions where i have got drunk and been intimate with him {twice sexually}.i thought he knew that nothing could happen between us because i still hoped to get back with my ex, and told him so last night, which caused him to get very angry, and because he knows all my exs circle of mates im scared he will tell them or him out of spite. i know deep down my ex still wants to to work things out, and i know i havent technically cheated but i still feel like i have and he will look at it like that too. im worried sick now, i cant eat or anything, i dont know what the hell i was thinking, but i always maintained to this guy how i cant get involved, and he said he understands, and now he is really angry. i dont really know whether he will spill the beans or not, but im terrified he will out of spite to finish me and my ex for good.i would really appreciate some help because im going out of my mind with worry and guilt.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 August 2009): Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but trust me - if your ex says there's no hope of you ever getting back together he means exactly that. You only *hope* deep down that he wants to work things out, the reality is that he doesn't. Men don't play some sort of guessing game when it comes to this sort of thing.
You could be waiting a very long time.
Don't worry about this new guy spilling the beans - you and your ex are already finished for good. Don't waste any more of your life living in false hope.
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