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female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: My BF's friends talk down to me.How do I get them to stop talking to me in a condescending manner?These last couple of years I have had a problem with people talking down to me. Before that I had no problems. What has changed in personality that people think that they can talk to me this way? Even some my subordinates at work talk down to me. Thanks for your ideas!
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female
reader, vina_101  +, writes (18 December 2006):
 The way you carry yourself is the way you are perceived. People don't talk down to people for no reason.
I think that you are allowing people to talk to you like this. If you give out the impression that says "I'm weak, I'm a push over, talk to me how you want, cos hey! I don't care" then people will. And then when they do and you don't say anything to them they will keep doing it. But if when you introduce yourself to new people and you let them know from day one that you won't tolerate certain things then they won't overstep the mark.
The people who are talking down to you now, you need to let them know that you won't tolerate it anymore. If they talk down to you again don't respond. Unless they talk to you with respect don't converse with them. Cut them off. You don't need them. Soon they will wise up and understand that you won't put up with it anymore. Time to get tough.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 December 2006): It sounds like you are being much too passive and uncertain of what things you do. What you need to do is make up your mind on a topic and stick to it. When someone tells you no, you have to not only restate your position, but give information or reasons to back it up. Know when you should talk back and watch your body language too. People have a way of knowing how you're going to react by your stance and eye contact. You should buy a book about body language to understand what you're doing and then you should try to watch yourself in these bad situations. Good luck!
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