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Surely he must be really into me if he doesn't mind that I had a baby with someone else?

Tagged as: Dating, Pregnancy<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (14 October 2009) 109 Answers - (Newest, 21 November 2009)
A age 18-21, * writes:

there is this guy i know for about 5yrs we dated at one point in time, prior to that we were friends so we had known each other on that level before we became intimate, however we broke up, we both were seeing other people, we then met again about a year ago, i was still with my bf at that time, i then became pregnant, when i told him he seemed disturbed but played it cool,

we are now both single and im really interested in him but im not so sure he is, but here's the thing we talk for long hours at a time almost everyday, we had sex almost every time we met (that was before i was pregnant) now after i have my baby we seem closer than ever but we havent had sex since but he wants to see me, he says that if we ever meet we will end up having sex, but is he really into me, cause he seemed to not mind i had a baby for someone else, why would he still be interested in seeing me after all this. i would really like some feedback from some guys as well.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2009):

The reason they haven't had sex is that he has come over yet. But its open as soon as he gets there.

Nothing wrong in doing him sweety, just be careful. No need for two babies.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2009):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thank you anonymous readers!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (20 November 2009):

I agree with the male anonymous reader, stop highlighting that she hasn't had sex with the guy yet that's not important,neither the issue, I think its a good thing.

She provided an update on the situation be happy for her and move on, she should be given thumbs up, does everything have to be about sex these days, I personally believe in the way she is going with things, so sweetie enjoy his company, and catching up with him just have fun, no need to be in a hurry to have sex, especially if its a mutual thing Good luck! x!!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (20 November 2009):

I think the young lady got you guys from her first post, about if you guys think this man could genuinely still be interested in her, and so she stated seeing him again, what is so wrong if she doesnt want to have sex with him yet, whether they have nailed each other in the past or not thats not the point, it also sounds as a mutual thing not to have sex yet between her and her guy, you all should actually be commending her on their decision to take things slow this time around, sounds to me they want to do it right this time and they really want to make it work, so whats wrong with that, no one asked how much you had sex since she posted the question, it is quite ok to give your opinion but no need to make fun of her, besides her update was merely about sex sounds like she jus happened to mention it, she basically said she is now convinced that he is in to her, so just congratulate her and leave, why do you have to make an issue of her not having sex with the guy yet, You people are ridiculous, and shouldnt be giving advice to anyone, you all totally misunderstand what the young lady is trying to say. If you have already given a comment or sorry you gave one why are you wanting to make jokes about the situation, if you have nothing positive to say then say nothing, honey, i think you should go that way if you guys want to, hope it all works out!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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A male reader, soon567 United States +, writes (19 November 2009):

soon567 agony auntI been watching this thread. She seems like a really sweet girl that needs to party a little more and than after its out of her system. Find a good guy.

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A female reader, Accountable United Kingdom + , writes (18 November 2009):

I am in complete agreement with Uncle Phil.. You've seen the advice people have given you, can't you just process it and proceed with your situation on your own from here? Privately, since you now seem indignant as you feel people are pressuring you in some way or another regarding a personal matter??

I think Q deserves slot 100 for humouring you here for so long, as much as i would secretly have loved to swoop in and take it...

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A male reader, Uncle Phil United Kingdom + , writes (18 November 2009):

Uncle Phil agony auntI am so, so sorry to have made a comment on this. Is there no end to the bloody follow-ups? I think you just like to see your words on the screen love.

Give us a break - live with whoever, happily ever after and let me do the same. Please. No more follow-ups. I beg you. Please. On bended knee, palms together, looking towards the heavens for divine inspiration.

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A male reader, q1605 United States +, writes (18 November 2009):

q1605 agony auntHoney. I don't think you get what we are saying. He has already seen you naked. You guys probably were to the point that you were peeing in front of each other. Now you want him to go through the paces like you just met. We are understanding every word. Few people take longer to get to the rack the second time around!!!!! You keep saying that you already know him like this is the reason not to have sex. It IS the reason to have it. You have already done it with this guy.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2009):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Well congrats on your 100th spot, good for you!

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A male reader, q1605 United States +, writes (18 November 2009):

q1605 agony auntI will take that 100 slot thank you very much!

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A male reader, q1605 United States +, writes (18 November 2009):

q1605 agony auntCan I say one more thing

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A male reader, q1605 United States +, writes (18 November 2009):

q1605 agony auntI think you are right about the cultural differences. In my country relationships lead to sex. Even in Texas when you are out on the prairie and the only relationship you have is with your horse.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2009):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Also i think thats the reason we like each other so much, and always remain close,back then we were friends first,so we knew each other well first before i started "nailing him" so we were friends, then became lovers, so we were lovers and friends.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2009):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Its no big deal, but you might be supprised but it actually took us 3 or 4 months the first time, so 4 weeks is a record, but besides that, you guys have to remember that i came out of a relationship with a baby this time, so things are a bit different now, and i also have to be mindful of the things i do now, we both have to. So bear with me, its also the first relationship since my last.

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A male reader, q1605 United States +, writes (18 November 2009):

q1605 agony auntYou were all ready nailing him from way back. What's the big deal now.

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A male reader, q1605 United States +, writes (18 November 2009):

q1605 agony auntNo what you will be reading is...my guy suddenly went cold. No texts he won't return my calls and and and.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2009):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

You guys can have all the fun you want, i dont mind, but it actually suprises me that you all think 4 weeks is too long, but i guess its the culture difference so can we leave it at then. (by the way, We have seen each other numerous times)

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A female reader, marriedlady United States + , writes (18 November 2009):

marriedlady agony auntk'ching!!! you got it Q! woohoo you get the prize for being 90th! naenae, i hardly think that 5 weeks qualifies for pushing... i'm beginning to wonder though if 3 months from now we will be reading your posts through glazed eyes..."today i talked to the new guy on the phone...i think he still likes me...he told me to go buy a sexy nightie....what do you all think? is he still in to me?" For heaven's sake....this is totally making me laugh...thanks naenae, honey. Im giving you a hard time here but honestly i am enjoying your drama. :) mal

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A reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2009):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Ofcourse im not going to share that with you guys forget that! but we met already we could have ripped each others clothes off the first time, but is it wrong to take our times and foreplay for a month and 4 days,or two months and 4 days, i mean i dont know how you guys do it but, we would rather take our time, note this is not a new guy we,ve known each other for years, he also like to take his time with things so i don't think it will hurt to do things a little different this time around! we might both be wanting to but i think its better we just take our time, besides if we waited years we can wait a few hours more, we just needed to catch up a bit before we get nasty! But its all good so thank you.

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A male reader, q1605 United States +, writes (18 November 2009):

q1605 agony auntNot to mention that unless someone beats me to it whilst I type. I am the 90th poster.

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A male reader, q1605 United States +, writes (18 November 2009):

q1605 agony auntWell we could wait for the seven and a half million years it takes Deep Thought to recalculate Duce's answer or we can settle in on 42. Which also happens to be the number of times I have had sex while nae nae is still talking about it.

This post is getting as bad a Vogon poetry. And as small as her infinite improbability sex drive.

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A female reader, marriedlady United States + , writes (18 November 2009):

marriedlady agony auntnaenae, whatever are you talking about dear? Q and I have been following and advising you now for 1 month and 4 days...you have talked about sex and hot panties. you have told us that your guy is slobbering over you. While we have listened and advised you we have been getting it on with our respective mates, not living vicariously thru your life... Firthermore we have no need to be there because i'm quite sure you will share the details with us by the next morning. We are just telling you that if you want to KEEP THE GUY...HE IS WANTING TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU. Its not a matter of pushing you into anything, sweetie, its a matter of you obviously want to, he obviously wants to ...are we gonna have to listen to foreplay forever?????

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A female reader, katyayni Nepal + , writes (18 November 2009):

katyayni agony auntDuce are you talking from/about the "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy"?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2009):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Whatever that means (duce)! but you guys ive been reading your responses again, 1605, married lady, and to think of it, isn't this peer pressure you are actually sounding like you are pushing me to have sex with this guy, no insult intended its just kinda funny, but i hope you guys realise that it will be just him and i right, you all wont be getting any. Cause i'm starting to wonder if we are all going to be there! You all seem so excited for us to do "it",lol!!!, any way i'll be seeing him later, so... any way thanks guys!

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A male reader, duce00 United States + , writes (18 November 2009):

duce00 agony auntThis all makes perfect sense.

The answer is 42

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A male reader, q1605 United States +, writes (17 November 2009):

q1605 agony auntAnd Married Lady....... is in the house!

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A male reader, q1605 United States +, writes (17 November 2009):

q1605 agony auntI'm with soon 567. Love kids. It's just nice to see them coming and plan around them.

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A female reader, marriedlady United States + , writes (17 November 2009):

marriedlady agony auntwhy not? Hot undies and hot boot knocking usually go together...you are talking the talk...and talking the talk...and talking the talk...

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A reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2009):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

I got that too dont worry,(soon) but it wouldn't have sounded so hot if i placed it in the same line as hot undies wont it!

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A male reader, q1605 United States +, writes (17 November 2009):

q1605 agony auntIt's not you new guy.I am worried about.

I don't want to go over to his house unannounced and find some one else's boots are walking

some one else's lips are talking

you outside in the cold

growing lonely

growing old

when all you had to do

is jump naked and ...

you get my drift there snow white?

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A male reader, soon567 United States +, writes (17 November 2009):

soon567 agony auntyou are so funny. buy get birth control this time.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2009):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

I greatly appreciate your concern for my new guy, but dont worry something will be done really soon! I already went out and bought those undies!

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A male reader, q1605 United States +, writes (17 November 2009):

q1605 agony auntWell you better do SOMETHING with the new guy. He will burst into flames soon if you don't.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2009):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Well i will save my sexual tension for a few days until i meet my guy again, but as for my baby's dad, i dont feel any sexual tension, tension yes but definetly not sexual.

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A male reader, q1605 United States +, writes (17 November 2009):

q1605 agony auntWith all this sexual tension something has got to give. From my experience it usually zippers, buttons, and whatever furniture gets in the way.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2009):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

I totally understand where you coming from, (i do see this new guy,just we havent had sex yet but didnt you read the part about the hot undies for next time we meet) but i dont know about you but i wont want to have sex with someone i cant stand for more than a few minutes, and who i will enjoy throwing sharp objects at. It has reached a point where I anyway never mind, but i know it sounds weird but at the moment thats the best arrangement we can come up with, its a long story to explain, but i try to keep my distance, seperate rooms etc.

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A male reader, q1605 United States +, writes (17 November 2009):

q1605 agony auntYou keep hanging at your babies daddies place for days on end, yet never seeing the guy you keep asking about? I would tell you to watch for banana peels when you are over at your babies daddies house while he has his pants down. You could slip and fall on something.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2009):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

I know thats where you were heading but i dont think you wanna go down that road!

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A male reader, q1605 United States +, writes (17 November 2009):

q1605 agony auntWhen your baby's daddy gets you pregnant again.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2009):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

i didnt have a name picked out for my first, but where am i gonna get a sibling???

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A male reader, q1605 United States +, writes (17 November 2009):

q1605 agony aunt***He sometimes asks me to not to stay very long, cause i sometimes spend a day or two so he can be with our baby, cause she is still a baby and i don't leave her just yet.***

Do you have a name picked out for your baby's sibling?

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A male reader, q1605 United States +, writes (16 November 2009):

q1605 agony auntwoke up this morning

and what do I see?

A followup from Nae Nae

waiting for me.

I click on the link

Cuz by now I think

they been knocking boots

since a quarter to three

your man may be vex

but it's from lack of sex

it's time to quit talking

and get those boots knocking

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A reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2009):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Ok so im just giving a minor update you guys can tell me what you think, well so i have been proceeding with caution, everything seems to be going fine, so now i think i am convinced he really could be into me, by some contents of conversations sometimes, like for instance we were talking about my pregnancy,he said he sometimes wonder how come he never got me pregnant and this guy did so easily and i asked a stupid question " if he was angry(in Trinidad we say VEX) that i got pregnant by someone else and not him, ( note in the past while we were together we often joked about having kids)and by my question he got really upset, and seemed really disturbed, another thing is that sometimes when i tell him that i have to visit my baby's father he seems somewhat disturbed by that as well, he sometimes asks me to not to stay very long, cause i sometimes spend a day or two so he can be with our baby, cause she is still a baby and i dont leave her just yet. One time we were talking and he opened up a bit and actually stated he was distraught when i told him i was pregnant, (his words)he also said he was angry, and use to think selfish things about me to himself but he says he got past it a bit thats why he can tell me now, besides he ask to see me very often, we talk almost everyday, for hours into the morning, but we actually havent had sex yet. He has asked me to get some hot undies for the next time we meet though.

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A female reader, katyayni Nepal + , writes (13 November 2009):

katyayni agony auntKnock, knock, knockin' on heaven's door

Knock, knock, knockin' on heaven's door

Knock, knock, knockin' on heaven's door

Knock, knock, knockin' on heaven's door

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A female reader, katyayni Nepal + , writes (13 November 2009):

katyayni agony aunt(that was the most perfect quip ever, Mal)... I am in stitches already...

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A female reader, marriedlady United States + , writes (12 November 2009):

marriedlady agony auntsome of these days these boots are gonna 'wuk' all over you

!!!!!!

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A female reader, katyayni Nepal + , writes (12 November 2009):

katyayni agony auntThese Boots are Made for Knocking...

And that is Just what they will do...

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A male reader, q1605 United States +, writes (12 November 2009):

q1605 agony auntWhat is in a name? That which we call boot knocking,

By any other word would be just as loud.

Doth a head board banging on the wall, called by any other name not keep the neighbors up just as late?

Doth calling panties panties, rather than knickers, mean they will not rotate and swirl about the ceiling fan, at the same rate of speed?

I take thee at thy word:

Call me but bootknocker, and I'll be new baptis'd;

Henceforth I never will be "Hot wuk" again.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2009):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Boot knocking,hmmm in the Caribbean we call it "hot wuk" or "hot F..."!!!

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A male reader, q1605 United States +, writes (29 October 2009):

q1605 agony auntThe need for spurs is contingent on the number of legs your date for the evening has.

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A female reader, marriedlady United States + , writes (29 October 2009):

marriedlady agony auntaww...boot knockin'! Absolutely a texas and oklahoma 'dance.' yeppers it brings back memories of ...car hoods, back seats and lumpy mattresses with mismatched sheets. The smell of jovan sex appeal cologne, and tony llama boots...it was 1979...oh baybee...thanks everyone for the flashback.

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A male reader, Uncle Phil United Kingdom + , writes (28 October 2009):

Uncle Phil agony auntThis 'Boot Knocking' business. Are spurs a requirement or a 'desirable but not essential' aid? If not, they should be. A little 'spurring on' at the point of the vinegar stroke should ensure some extra thrutching, thereby ensuring that the crankenspiel is fully vasicated up to the hilt. A washer should be fitted though, enabling the nuts to be fully tightened.

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (28 October 2009):

eyeswideopen agony auntq, I was boot knocking when you were still wet behind your ears, no "splaining" necessary Ricky.

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A male reader, q1605 United States +, writes (28 October 2009):

q1605 agony auntEyes... take a homo selzter and you will wake up feeling yourself. Boot knocking is when a man puts his crankenspiel into a woman's poohdidlenum and vasicates it until he reaches a state of nirvanicosis commonly known as orasmania. Glad I could clear that up for you.

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (28 October 2009):

eyeswideopen agony auntSorry all about the hiccup

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (28 October 2009):

eyeswideopen agony auntI don't think so Uncle Phil 'cause my knees tremble when I see George Clooney but alas there's no boot knocking involved.

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (28 October 2009):

eyeswideopen agony auntI don't think so Uncle Phil 'cause my knees tremble when I see George Clooney but alas there's no boot knocking involved.

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A male reader, Uncle Phil United Kingdom + , writes (28 October 2009):

Uncle Phil agony auntIs 'Boot Knocking' the same as 'Knee Trembling'?

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A male reader, q1605 United States +, writes (28 October 2009):

q1605 agony auntBefore during and after sex you can really see what a guy is made of. Especially after. Give him a couple of minutes to adjust. But if he acts like he wants you to turn into a pizza and a six pack like 10 minutes after he probably is using you for sex.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2009):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Oh of course, we will have sex sometime, with respect to you having an active imagination, I was speaking about the way you describe "boot knocking" very interesting way of putting it!

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A male reader, q1605 United States +, writes (27 October 2009):

q1605 agony auntSo are you saying you won't be having sex with him.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (27 October 2009):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

So you are saying to have sex with him and then i will find the answers to my questions, ooookaaaay then! You have a real active imagination going on there.LOL

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A male reader, q1605 United States +, writes (27 October 2009):

q1605 agony auntThink of having sex and being totally naked

* except*

*for*

*your*

*stylish*

*and*

*well*

*crafted*

....where do I live?

Anyone?

Anyone?

Texas!

And in Texas we wear ......

Boots!

So if you have sex wearing only your boots....

or say you keep your clothes on and just do a zipper down and skirt up...

there is a lot of...

boot knocking.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (26 October 2009):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

could you kindly tell me what is "bootknocking"???

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A male reader, q1605 United States +, writes (26 October 2009):

q1605 agony auntSometimes it's love and relationships that are confusing. You will be OK. Call this dude up and tell him you want to knock boots. I am not being a smart ass. You guys are missing out on a lot of good sex in the interim here. In the after glow of boot knocking is where you will find the answers to your questions.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (26 October 2009):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

q1605 I have no problem clarifying a question if someone doesnt understand a point, etc but if you try to read the answers one after the other from everyone it can get confusing, thats why I stated that persons read my original posts carefully first before answering, if someone doesn't understand something, I would greatly appreciate if they say so and ask for clarification, not just go ahead and answer what they think I asked, but I greatly appreciate their concern for me, so I am thankful to everyone.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (26 October 2009):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Markingbad thank you for that insight, I agree that one must be careful as to who they get involved with, when there is a child involved, yes of course I put my baby's needs first, also I decided to see him again one cause he's not just interested in sex, and two I think he accepted and respects the fact of me being a mother now and is ok with it. He is willing to take things slow as well, besides just to add i looked the same before, during and after my pregnancy but anyway, thats not really relevant now, but You have your personal experience about the topic so you know what I am talking about, but good luck to you as well thank you again.

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A male reader, q1605 United States +, writes (26 October 2009):

q1605 agony auntI'm glad I could help out. But there are good points through out. Some of the people you had issues with are friends of mine and you didn't always state your position clearly. The answer of mine you liked so much was me just sort of me filtering out much of what you said, and just telling you what guys think about a woman getting pregnant from another guy. Love can work against you. Or it can work for you. If it is just sex mostly, than it shouldn't be a problem for him. He may be OK in the beginning and as his feelings return he might start having issues. You will have to see how it unfolds. But if one of you don't do something, nothing will happen.

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A male reader, Markingbad United Kingdom +, writes (26 October 2009):

Markingbad agony auntWell when i was single and had no ties. And by that i mean no children. I had my best relationships on the rebound. Which as everybody knows is not supposed to work. But for me it did. I did go out with one girl for a few years who had a 3 year old daughter but TBH she was the exception. I had no baggage and prefered independant women without children.

Since becoming a single dad its a different ball game. I had the opportuntity with two of my old flames after bumping into them. One had put on way to much weight and i didnt fancy her anymore. The other was a very sexy girl but also a fiery bitch . She didnt mind me me having a kid. But she didnt like them. I think it was her that asked " does IT live with you". And that was the end of that.

I have had a few flings but am very protective of who meets my son. He has met one or two of my friends. But he's used to that. As far as he's concerned they were all only friends.

Your a lot younger than me but i hope you put your babys needs before your own.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (26 October 2009):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

q1605 Didn't you already answer my question since i first posted it, you don't need to worry you got it, I actually took your advice since then and i decided to see him, I think he really is interested from the looks of things and of course I will take things slow, he seems ok with the fact of me having a baby by someone else. So everything is fine.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (26 October 2009):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Markingbad its not that I dont trust him, its just the first time I am actually getting close to a guy since my last relationship which was over a year ago, but remember I knew this guy for quite sometime so he is not a stranger, I was just hesitant of not him only, but if anyone would be interested in me, I mean I dont Know how guys see women after you have a baby, but I guess he probably wouldn't have expressed interest if he really wasn't interested in the first place, he could have been long gone. Let me ask you, if you came out of a relationship and when you think its time you want to get back out there, wont you be a bit concern about how you go about things, you get my drift? I really do hope you understand.

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A male reader, q1605 United States +, writes (26 October 2009):

q1605 agony auntIf you want people here to read your question carefully, would you at least attempt to write them carefully.

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A male reader, Markingbad United Kingdom +, writes (26 October 2009):

Markingbad agony auntOk. You know him well but obviously you dont trust him. Or you wouldnt need to ask anybody. You also have a baby. I think you should forget this guy.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (26 October 2009):

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No, i just wanted someone else's opinion.

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A male reader, Markingbad United Kingdom +, writes (26 October 2009):

Markingbad agony auntSo you only want us to read his mind ?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (26 October 2009):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Accountable no one was being insulted, askoldersister misunderstood, so i was just trying to clear things up a bit, and it seems you misunderstand as well. Read my posts carefully!! There is no deeper issue my question issue in its in entirety was what you answered to if its possible, with reference to me not wanting to " spend time with him or him not being bothered to walk fifteen minutes to see me" is that i wanted to think about the situation first if he really could still be interested in me, take note of my first post where i said we dated in the past, broke up and saw different people i had a baby, my baby's father and i didn't work out (that was a year ago) since then this guy an i started to talk again, he has expressed interest in seeing me, ofcourse i want to see him, but i wanted to know if he really could be interested despite the fact, that is why i posted the question in the first place, before i actually decide to see him.

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A female reader, Accountable United Kingdom + , writes (25 October 2009):

Insulting the aunts on this site's intelligence is no way to get good advice, be grateful theyre taking a concern in your life at all.

Yes, its possible for him to like you despite having a child, unless theres some cultural thing where you live which dictates that thats wrong? The aunts seem to just be focusing on the deeper issue (and it is the deeper issue).. that it seems strange that you think the both of you are prepared for a relationship with each other, when you don't seem to want to spend time with him (your words, not mine) and he can't be bothered to walk 15 minutes to say hello.

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A male reader, Markingbad United Kingdom +, writes (25 October 2009):

Markingbad agony auntSorry but i havent understood a single thing you have posted.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2009):

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mud isnt clear, i guess thats your point but were you the anonymous reader who asked the question??? are you going somewhere with that even if you are not the person who asked.

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A male reader, Markingbad United Kingdom +, writes (25 October 2009):

Markingbad agony auntThats as clear as mud then.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (24 October 2009):

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I am not so sure what you mean by "linked to this man i now want to be with" I would really like if you can elaborate a bit, but no that has absolutly nothing to do with this man i now want to be with, that sexual relationship with the married man ended since i posted the question, we've discussed it openly and we both raised our concerns and came to a mutual understanding, we both felt badly about it and decided to end that part of the relationship, he is a really good friend and we value our friendship more. Also that is not me to do things like that and would rather be in a real relationship than fool around so i also decided to focus on this one guy i genuinely love, maybe rekindle the flame!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2009):

nae nae, you have a concurrent post about wanting to end your affair with a married friend who has a kid. whats going on? is that affair/post linked to this man that you now want to be with?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2009):

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Great finally you got it. for a while i almost cried, anyway i will see him he really does seem interested he is actually calling me right now, so maybe its worth a try again, dont worry i will take it slow, look out for an update soon then!!!!

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A female reader, Ask oldersister United States + , writes (15 October 2009):

Ask oldersister agony auntOk, he wants to see you and you want to see him so why not see him? No need to make a decision about a relationship anytime soon, just go out on a date. Take it slow.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2009):

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thank you q1605 now u are back on track!!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2009):

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for heavens sake, please pay attention to my concern,

1. I never said he doesn't want to see me, he wants to see me very much!!!!!!

2. I want to see him, but I haven't really decided yet because I'm wondering if he is still genuinely interested in me since i had a baby by someone else, he wants to see me I want to see him as well, we both want to see each other!!!!

are you guys really reading my questions, try reading again!!!

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A male reader, q1605 United States +, writes (15 October 2009):

q1605 agony auntyes it is genuinely possible.

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A female reader, Ask oldersister United States + , writes (15 October 2009):

Ask oldersister agony auntWhy in the world would you want a relationship with someone you don't even want to see? What's wrong with you?

Why did you guys break up the first time?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2009):

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wat is wrong with you people what is so hard to understand that its not about him not seeing me, he wants to see me very much so, but I haven't seen him cause I don't want to yet, I just wanted advice on if its possible that he can still be genuinely interested in me since after the fact that i have a baby by someone else. we can see each other if we want right now, didn't you all read my first question? Mr q1605 you were on track with my question earlier, what happened???

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A male reader, q1605 United States +, writes (15 October 2009):

q1605 agony auntMen and their libido like to keep their options open. If he never sees you then he sees somebody else. You sound like plan B. Or C D E F or G

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A reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2009):

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he is not married or anything like it, but i think you are missing something cause u keep mentioning him not seeing me regularly, etc but the concern is not the making of time he knows how to and we can very well see each other if we want to, we were not in a relationship for the past three years so there wasnt reason for us to see each other regularly so forget about that part, but now that we are both single he expressed interest in seeing me, but the issue is that i dont no if its possible that he (or men in general) genuinely is interested in me anymore since i had a baby by someone else. i think he does or he could have been long gone, its not like im the only person he can meet with. So why would he express interest in me after all.

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A female reader, Ask oldersister United States + , writes (15 October 2009):

Ask oldersister agony aunt"deary", it's very difficult to understand "text speak" or maybe English is your second language? I don't know what "situation" would prevent a guy that really likes you from seeing you, really, unless he's married or something. From what you've written, this is a phone buddy and if he has situations that hold him back from seeing you regularly, it doesn't sound like a relationship would be the next logical step, no.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2009):

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hello!!! let me jus clear up this u probably misunderstand a bit, deary did u read my first question, we are not in a relationship, we were a long time ago, we broke up both saw other people, i now hav a baby from my las relationship, an we now started talkin again, actually over a year ago, we saw each other b 4 my pregnancy but we havent seen since my baby, he also had his own situations, but now the question is should i give a relationship with us a try again, since we are really close again, we talk everyday 4 hours and get along really well its jus we hav not seen each other yet. he still seems interested since i had a baby by som1 else

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A female reader, Ask oldersister United States + , writes (15 October 2009):

Ask oldersister agony auntHmmm...this doesn't really sound like a relationship to me or like he's even interested when he doesn't see you on a regular basis. Are you sure you aren't just reading into things? A guy that really likes you will want to be a big part of your life- not live a separate life.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2009):

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i didnt said i dont see him, i said we haven't seen each other in a while, for no specific reasons actually, it may b 15mins away but its actually 2 different areas, we really hav no reason to be in each others area very often, so its kinda unlikely we bump into each other, so we can see each other if we want to, if we plan to meet its either his place, mine or at a public place, we both hav seperate lives so i guess we were jus goin about our business as usual, besides he is a busy man an we now hav been talkin alot lately again so mayb its time we see each other again.

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A female reader, Ask oldersister United States + , writes (15 October 2009):

Ask oldersister agony auntHow come you never see him if he only lives 15min away?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2009):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

to q1605, i think your first response, really sums it up, but he seemed really hurt by me havin a baby by som1 else, but he seems to be acceptin it now and maybe he thinks, things can still work out, dat was really the concern for me, but i guess he thinks the first part about while we were apart she got pregnant, now we got bac together period. thanks

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A reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2009):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

and because watever i say of him is true not exaggerated.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2009):

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no guys its not a long distance relationship, he lives about fifteen minutes away, but i dont know why dats of any relevance,i speak highly of him because i love him.

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A male reader, q1605 United States +, writes (15 October 2009):

q1605 agony auntIt's an acronym for Long Distance Relationship. From what you say I think he is into you. You seem convinced of it. Go for it. You speak more highly of him than my first wife did of me the night before our wedding. Go get some!!!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2009):

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listen people we were really good friends b4 we had a really good intimate relationship as well, we understand each other we communicate really well, he's always interested to know how well my baby is doing the list goes on, we are jus like the perfect couple but its jus we are not a couple, but people think so, wat i really want to know is if he might really be interested or is it too good to be true... by the way wats a LDR

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (14 October 2009):

eyeswideopen agony auntLet me quote Elaine Benes "I don't know how you guys walk around with one of those".

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A male reader, q1605 United States +, writes (14 October 2009):

q1605 agony aunt adamskidude ROLTFLMAO! I keep telling the women on this site about a man and his penis, but they won't listen to me. My analogy is that we can't walk by a wood fence with out sizing up the knot holes and conference calling our dick for input. They won't listen to me. I will hand the torch off to you my friend.

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A female reader, Ask oldersister United States + , writes (14 October 2009):

Ask oldersister agony auntWell, it's too vague although it would make a lot of sense that he didn't care about her having a baby with someone else if it's long distance.

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A male reader, q1605 United States +, writes (14 October 2009):

q1605 agony auntAOS I think it might be but they had a real relationship way back. ...I think. She said they used to have sex. These days I guess that doesn't mean they were on the continent when it went down though does it?

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A female reader, Ask oldersister United States + , writes (14 October 2009):

Ask oldersister agony aunt"he wants to see me, he says that if we ever meet"- Is this an LDR?

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A male reader, adamskidude United Kingdom +, writes (14 October 2009):

adamskidude agony auntHey, im a guy. ^^

You have 2 possible types of man here

Man 1 - Kind caring and so totally in to you - you want this man - now

Man 2 - Will have sex with anything - thats anything - it doesnt even need a vagina

I hope you have man 1 :) GL

kthxbai ^^

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A male reader, q1605 United States +, writes (14 October 2009):

q1605 agony auntI read your question again. He is way interested. Meet him. Have sex with him. If you want, him you can get him. Slow and easy. At first draw him in like the way dust settles on a dirt road after a passing car. Make him think it is all his Idea. I don't know how you guys do it but you do. Be like the perfume in the air AFTER a woman has left the building. Just enough to linger in his thoughts. In six months you will be like a piece of iron and he will be a magnet.

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A male reader, q1605 United States +, writes (14 October 2009):

q1605 agony aunt Guys can be all over the map on this one. I married a woman with two kids from a previous marriage, and never thought a thing. It was of course, a straight up thing. She had been married. She had two kids. She broke up. We met and married. End of story. Well not, but it is for our purpose's here.

If you were not with him when you got pregnant it sounds simple. But you two guys being together before is where all the muddy water starts....making things subjective. I have, and have noticed, a paradox of love. Or men in love. The intensity of our feelings can actually work against us (you). You would think that the more we care, the more we can work around things. Ultimately this is true. But the path becomes longer and more winding.

You (he)love this person. But the depth of love you have for her brings in this flood of jealousy and thoughts that are hard to not think. He can care for you a lot and not be so consumed and think we were together, broke up and got back together. While we were apart she dated and had a child with another guy. PERIOD. Or he can say we were together, we broke up, and this man defiled my delicate flower and the hose beast spewed her with his gunk. All over her and her fallopian tubes and and! And she was fine with it. Even though if she really wanted to, she could have been with me. Anyone with eyes could see that me and that waitress at the bowling alley were nothing special. I would have dropped her in a second if my love had asked me to.

Sound convoluted? Yes! Illogical. HELL YES! You should try living inside the head of a guy.

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