A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have been best friends with my best friend for over 6/7 years, however in the past year she has got her first proper boyfriend and since then she's totally forgotten about me. I used to see her all the time and always meet up with her and go out and stuff but now we do nothing. She says I can't see her on a weekend, and I told her that all I ask for to prove she cares, is to have one weekend. She hasn't done that in a year and a half now. I put up with it cause I care about her but I'm getting sick of trying now.The other month she said we could do something in this month but again, she has done this with her boyfriend. She has never made any effort to care and I think I'm done with it. It's so hard for me to accept as I don't think her actions have been fair. I know people stop talking to people for their BF's but I have always hated those people, and I never thought that she would. When I was with someone, I never changed my behaviour. I tell her how I feel, she says it's not her fault, I say why do you say we can do things then never do. She never replies to my questions and ignores me most of the time. It's like having a conversation with no one and she is completely different to who she ever was.The only reason I get so upset about it is because we were always so close at one point and she's the longest person that's been around.I know I should stop trying completely, but if she says she wants to go out then I do. But I need to find a way to stop being this way. I blocked her for around a month, and she didn't say anything but I still unblocked her.6 months ago, I wasn't so bothered, there was a time when she was meant to be going to an event with me and a friend, but she said the night before she wasn't coming, that is when I blocked her, but I've had enough now, seeing her do things she said she'd do with me, then blatantly ignore me when I say when are we doing them.She needs to realise that she's being selfish but she doesn't think she is, or ever has been.I'm going around in circles but it's so hurtful to me how she acts.Advice?
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female
reader, Amiye +, writes (8 September 2014):
This does happen a lot, I can only suggest go out with your other Friends and have FUN! Don't dwell on the past and your 'best friend'. There is no law to say she should pick you over him or vice versa but she is going to do what makes her happiest and at this moment that is him. Be there for her if she needs you but don't be a door mat for her. Hang out with different friends and don't invite her as much as you use to, live your life! Only time will tell if your meant to be friends forever or your meant to drift apart. Things happen and people change.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (7 September 2014):
 She shouldn't have to PROVE to you that she is a friend. Apparently her weekends are off limits so.. if you want to talk to her and still have some sort of friendship then it won't happen on weekends.
I had a friend who would disappear EVERY time she got a new BF (and yeah she went through boys like most people go through toilet paper)- it was hurtful to be "pushed" aside for some boy over and over, but I decided that she was still a friend even if it was in diminished capacity. I made other friends and over time I actually became unavailable to her and we drifted apart.
Friends are those people who will BE there for you when you need them, and whom YOU will be there for in return.
HER priority her HER and HER life. What is your priority? You, right?
Some friends we outgrow, some we don't.
I would suggest you extend your OWN social circle and if you can see her (even on the peripheral) it's all good and if you rather cut her lose, then that is all good too.
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