A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:If one if my really good friends is a hoe and I know it, am I wrong for not wanting to be her friend anymore? I consider myself a classy woman with morals and dignity. On NO account do I think I'm better than her!!!! No that I'm realizing how "out there" she is I just don't really like her as much. I think that's disgusting to sleep around when married... And I feel horrible because 1 out of the many guys she slept with is my bf's brother and I Just started being friends with my boyfriends brother girlfriend.. And his girlfriend comes to me seeking advice about her relationship and it sucks because I can't tell her that's he's cheating on her I just tell her you know you should move on and find someone who will appreciate you more. It puts me in an awkward position because it's my best friend who is the other woman. I'm really cool with my boyfriend's brother so I don't want to betray him. I don't want it to affect my relationship with my boyfriend because that is his bro and now I feel like I'm being two faced with his girlfriend because although I just met her about 3 weeks ago I know she would tell me if it was my boyfriend..someone please help me... By the way I cannot stand my friends husband.he's a trouble maker immature bastard !
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female
reader, Abella +, writes (1 December 2010):
 i think you are right to distance yourself from a person whose values and attitudes are absolutely opposite of yours.
And sometimes friends do drift apart because their interests change. It is not the end of the world. You are both on different pages, reading from different books, so to speak.
If people you have known for ages change direction, demonstrate behavior that is at odds with your values, and develop different interests to you, then you are under no obligation to continue the friendship.
You are judged by the company you keep.
People often assume that 'birds of a feather flock together'. If you don't want to be judged by others as being just like her then distance yourself. Be unavailable if she wants to see you. Don't have a
nasty blazing fight. Be dignified. You are busy. You have other directions you want to go, other things you want to do.
And when do mix with people whose values and attitudes are very unlike yours, you are likely to be drawn into situations that will make you feel uncomfotable. Thus another old saying also applies: 'when you lie down with dogs you will get their fleas'
A
female
reader, QuirkLady +, writes (1 December 2010):
 I don't think you're wrong. Our friends are a reflection of who we are. If one of my friends is doing something truly awful like that, I would end the friendship as cheating goes against my basic values. Someone who does that is not someone I want to be friends with. My friends are all good people and I love them.
People change, friendships sometimes end, and that is life.
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