A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:One for the guys.After my partner wandered out of the relationship on an emotional level to communicate with his ex I have had trouble believing that he can still have feelings for me.The fact that he did this behind my back and was communicating with her every day for 4 months without seeing her (Distance prevented this)He tells me that this is over and doesn't seem to have any remorse, this was all my fault according to him. Can I believe that he is back. He is acting nicer than before but still slightly cold towards me.We have been married a very long time. How do I behave to win his affection again? What should I do to make him feel in charge of his own life? Especially if he has grown tired through years of marriage. I don't want to move out and I try hard not to give excuses for hurtful discussions.He will never talk about what they were discussing says that it is best forgotten to get over this. Also says that he has never done anything like this before.Something has definitely died along the way and I feel like I am dealing with another man, not my husband. I am seeing sides to him I have never seen before. Please give me some advice on how to deal with this.
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2009): When your man takes your trust and run out the door with it, yes something has died, that part of you that trusted that your man will always put you first, that trust of knowing that he will never do anything to hurt you, its hard to believe what he says, its hard to believe him when he says he loves you and its all in the past, but if you don’t learn how to deal with this your marriage is over, you allowed yourself to trust this man once before so if he is worth it work your ass of to get yourself to trust him again, I have been staying with my boyfriend for 5 years we’ve been together for 6 I am 22 and moved in with him when I was only 17 and I understand what this can do to a relationship, sometimes I wish things can be like in the beginning him opening the door for me or laying the pillows down nicely before we had sex , but I forgot that people change our ways change, yes if you allow boredom in your relationship he will get bored not saying its your fault but to many times we forget to do those little things for our partner that makes them feel needed love and special, because we get so used to them being around, put on some make up, and a nice dress make reservations at his favorite restaurant, don’t kiss his ass that’s not what I am saying, I am saying take back what’s yours, he is your man and if you don’t fight he wont see the need to fight, if you show him how much you want to make this marriage work he will soon start doing all those things that drove you crazy years ago, relationships are tricky and I am young but I learn from watching others, you don’t want to become a statistic with a failed marriage, do you? No so stand up for what is yours put on your boxing gloves and fight for love, forgive him once, if he betrays you again walk away, but 1st you need to know that you tried you gave it your best.And don’t bug him about what they spoke about, I know its hard, coz you are making your own assumptions in your head, but you need to stop that immediately, he probably doesn’t want you to know coz it was stupid and he knows that the truth will hurt you, try and focus on the good things, focus on why you love him, fall in love again get butterflies when he whispers in your ear, people who are married for years, think things like that is for kids, but its not enjoy your husband and let him enjoy you that is why the lord gave you to each other, to love and cherish for as long as you both shall live, I wish you all the best sometimes its gona be hard, but let him dry your tears and love each other with everything inside of you.Good luck and please keep us posted
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