A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Dear CupidI am dating a person for past one month and we slept together yesterday. He is really not my type, but he was really sweet and I wanted to give this a try.Only when I slept with him realized, he might have erectile dysfunction problem, he when was not able to do even once, but he dismissed it as a normal one and said we should try some other time. When I tried to call him today, no response from his end. I'm not sure what to think of it. Is this relationship over even before it started. I didn't show my disappointment when he was not able to perform, I was cool and encouraging.Pls help me, should I wait or move on
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male
reader, eddie85 +, writes (12 January 2016):
 Sorry to hear about your experience.Guys egos are often tied to being able to get an erection (or not). For a first time, it is usually a double whammy as usually the first time is the best and most memorable. Now you'll like remember him as someone who had difficulties.That being said, it isn't uncommon and if he is older than you, it could be typical male, age related problems. It also could be due to alcohol or any drugs he may be taking (prescription or otherwise). Also, he probably had performance anxiety in wanting to be great the first time. Sometimes our equipment has a mind of its own.I would urge you to be patient with him and give him some space to call you.Also, it is probably time for you to consider whether there is any sort of chemistry here. If emotionally you aren't there and physically, you may want to cut your losses now, rather than have him get emotionally invested. The longer you carry on the charade, the more hurt and pain you are likely to cause.
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (11 January 2016):
 He's probably deeply embarrassed. This happens to men more often than you'd think. They get nervous, and can't get it up. As soon as they are relaxed and more at ease, the problem vanishes by itself. If you like him, I say give it another go and it'll sort itself out. If you're on the fence, and not quite feeling it anyway, I don't think having sex is going to make much of a difference. You shouldn't date someone just because they're great in bed either, so maybe it's a good thing the sex is put on hold for a little while longer until you figure out whether this is someone you like enough or not to be in a relationship with. If you're not feeling much either way for him, I don't think it's worth it to hang on to. I mean, you're looking for more, right?
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (11 January 2016):
 I'm pretty sure that he doesn't have a problem, my guess is that he was probably nervous with it being the first time you where both intimate in this way. As long as you encourage him that it is perfectly normal then he shouldn't remain to embarrassed. Am guessing that's why he hasn't called today as he is annoyed with himself and ashamed. It happens to all males from time to time, he obviously was just not ready. Allow some time to pass and try again.
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