A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello,Here's my situation, its been about 4 months since breaking up with my ex girlfriend. I am 21 years old and had dated her for exactly one year. That year consisted of me being manipulated, abused, cheated on and ultimately resulting in me being left for another guy on our one year anniversary. It seems I am still hurting from the breakup, I haven't spoke to her since that day and I miss her very much. I spend my days completely occupied to try and forget about her, but it seems I have started to have dreams and nightmares about her. This morning I woke up very stressed over the dream I had which was about me seeing my ex with all of my friends and she was with my ex-best friend and flaunting the fact that they were dating. She took me aside and started kissing me then the dream ended. Why am I having these dreams and is there any significance? I should also mention my ex-best friend and my ex girlfriend hate each other. On top of all this I constantly feel like there is no one else out there for me, I feel like I'm not worthy enough for anyone. any ideas how to get over this. I consider myself nice, caring, charismatic, and generally easy going. Is it normal to feel this way?Thanks in advance
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 April 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for all the advice everyone
A
female
reader, sunflower86 +, writes (15 April 2011):
After you have been in an abusive relationship in which your partner did not appreciate you it is normal to feel what you are feeling. I am going through the same thing at the moment. I think you are having these dreams because you still have feelings and insecurities regarding your ex that have not been dealt with or that you are still working on getting over. I believe we both need to realize what a catch we are and that our ex's were truly bad for us. Honestly, they don't deserve us if they treated us the way they did. My problem with my ex boyfriend was with emotional abuse and the fact that he wanted me all to himself but he would not give me the love and commitment I needed. I feel the same way you do, like no one will find me worthy. My head believes that this is a product of the way we were treated by the people we loved most. The trick is to make our hearts believe what our head knows. I hope this helped at all. I really want you to know that you are worth so much more than what she was willing to give you. There are women out there worth your attention and devotion.
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A
male
reader, thomas1214  +, writes (15 April 2011):
this is what you saidI am 21 years old and had dated her for exactly one year. That year consisted of me being manipulated, abused, cheated on and ultimately resulting in me being left for another guy on our one year anniversary.this is what you feelI miss her very much.this is what you should say and feelI am very glad that this happened the way it did and not later on in life after being married and having kids. now i can go out to actually find someone who treats me with the same respect as i do.
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A
female
reader, ghoku +, writes (15 April 2011):
dont waste your time with her shes not worth it. its normal to feel that way. you'll find someone else in due time.
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