A
female
age
36-40,
*iss_confused87
writes:I know there are going to be some nasty answers and I won't argue with them. What's going on is wrong and cruel but not what this question is about. I am married and about 6 months ago got really friendly with male work colleague. We text most days and it has always been flirty. About 3 months ago we slept together. Since then we still text a lot and sext as well. We both have acknowledged it's wrong but neither of us can leave it alone. We have tried ignoring each other but one of us always caves. What I want to know is... Because we have only had sex once is this merely a one night stand or because we are still in touch is it an affair? He has since moved on from my place of work and keeps telling me he misses me, I challenged him and that he thinks a lot about that one night. Maybe I am Reading into it all too much!
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affair, flirt, one night stand, text Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 June 2011): RedAthena hit it right on the head.
You have some serious issues you need to work on. Having an affair is not the way to do it.
Start educating yourself, the hard times haven't even begun yet, there is usually hell to pay emotionally for affairs.
http://www.amazon.com/Getting-Past-Affair-Program-Together/dp/157230801X
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 June 2011): It was one night,yes, something tells me you want more of the same hence the continued contact and emotional attachment.The guys just enjoying the attention I reckon,or he would have met you many times - he knows damn well your up for it - your still chasing even though he's left his job.
If your husband had sex with a colleague once, but kept in touch,still displaying interest, would you accuse him of having an affair or a one night stand?
If its excitement you want go sky diving or something that doesn't involve hurting others
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A
female
reader, RedAthena  +, writes (27 June 2011):
 You are still having an EMOTIONAL affair. While you are not having sex, you are still carrying on an intimate relationship that is you should'nt.
I am sure that your husband expects you to keep your emotional and sexual intimacies devoted to him. You are being disloyal to your marriage, so yes it is an affair.
You have not ended it because you do not want to. If you respected your marriage or yourself more, you would.
You are getting something out of the flirting with the colleague. Is that high worth ending your marriage and hurting your husband?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 June 2011): Are you trying to categorize or label this to see just to what extent you did something wrong/bad? Because if that is the case (and you'll have to look into yourself), then really, what it comes down to is: You cheated.
Yeah, you could call it a one night stand because you slept with him one night. Yeah, it's an affair because you worked with him, flirted, texted, sexted and carried on after the one night stand. But either way, you cheated. I don't know what else you can tell yourself or why you need to think further on it unless you're looking for redemption or perhaps justification.
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