| A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: My husband and I are newly-weds. We have been together for three years and have been married for 2 weeks. We're both 20. We've had plenty of sex in the past and I used to think i was a nympho because i always wanted to have sex with him.. But latly I have had little to no sex drive. We just got married and have had sex twice (given that one week was dedicated to my ladies time). But even still. He wanted to have sex this morning before work and i told him i didnt want to be late so he let it go but i realized i have no desire to have sex anymore and it scares me!! Shouldnt it be hot and heavy between us? I know it is for him but not me. i dont want to tell him because i dont want to hurt his feelings! What do I do? Please help!
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male
reader, daletom  +, writes (10 July 2010):
Yeah, there IS a problem here. You know that, and he will figure it out shortly - if he hasn't already. It's not necessarily only YOUR problem - and I don't say that just because you two are now (as husband and wife) partners on a team.
Even with a lot more factual information, we don't know your personalities well enough to tell you what the problem is or how best to solve it. Perhaps, as some have suggested, you (or both of you) have put a lot of effort and emphasis on the wedding and now must shift your attentions to the marriage.
You might be able to solve this on your own, or a good friend may be helpful, or maybe a counselor or clergyman. If you did any kind of marriage preparation course, or premarital counseling, going back to those folks might be an excellent place to start.
I was a young newlywed once, so I appreciate that you respect his feelings and don't want to hurt him. In the long run, involving him in the analysis and solution of this problem may be a very valuable thing to do.
A
female
reader, romany  +, writes (10 July 2010):
 I remember when i got married, all that planning and then in a blink of an eye it was over, and the following weeks were like the calm after the storm, I'd been so busy with organising all the wedding stuff, I was exhausted after the wedding, also, i'd been so excited bout the big day, I felt really deflated when it was all over.
Did you have a honeymoon? could you get away for a week or long weekend? perhaps things would be better for you if you were to get away, to enjoy being Mr and Mrs, to chill out, and enjoy each other away from the day to day monotony.
Oh and stop putting pressures on yourself, when i was a newly wed, i slept for first 2 days, and there are no hard and fast rules on becoming a wife, (thankgoodness, coz you know the man would have that down word for word-lol)Your not missing out on anything coz your not ripping his clothes off. So dont feel like your being cheated out of this magical time.
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A
female
reader, LaceyCurves24 +, writes (10 July 2010):
It could just be you're stressed out about something. Or, things between the two of you have been so routine, that you're physically & mentally bored.
So, book a hotel room & pretend to be a hooker. Wear a wig & change your name. Wear a librarian outfit but have super sexy lingerie underneath.
What's my point?? Try something (anything) different. You're probably in a rut.
Good Luck!!!
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A
female
reader, LLindy87 +, writes (10 July 2010):
 Well realizing its your problem is a good start. Maybe if you realize what is causing this could solve everything. Are there any outside factors causing you to be uninterested? Extra stress? other issues in your life?
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