A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Dear CupidMy bf of 4 years has been waiting for his promotion for 2 years and he didnt get it this year too, even though his juniors got it. He was so disappointed, planning to quit his job and try job in a new company. I support his decision.Problem is he stopped sleeping with me, saying like he would sleep with me only when he gets a new job till that time we shouldnt have sex. Is this really necessary, i dont want to fight with him when he is already having problem at work.Should we start sleeping in separate beds till he get a new job, please help me.
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male
reader, Xearo  +, writes (22 June 2013):
Sounds like he is punishing himself but you should try your hardest to not let this happen. You have to show him that you still love him and that these things he thinks he wants will not make him feel any better. The reason being his job should not define the relationship between the two of you, and in fact this pattern of negative behaviour will only lead to more downfalls.
I don't think he is childish nor do I think the issue is worth dumping someone over. I also do not think this issue is about your intimacy, but it is actually more common than you think....people just go about it in different ways.
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (21 June 2013):
 WHAT is the connection between: ...you and him and where you sleep? ... his job and your's and his intimate life?...
This boyfriend of your's sounds very childish, to me.... and, if that is representative of how has has, or will, handle adversity in the future (as he is handling it currently)..... then you should thank your Lucky Stars that you have learned this about him, NOW, before he got a chance to play it upon you sometime in the future, when you and he faced a REAL "problem"..... Dump him....
Good luck....
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 June 2013): What? This is just weird. Chances are he feels inadequate and his masculinity is suffering because he didn't get his promotion, so he feels like punishing himself further by denying himself sex. Somehow he thinks this is what he deserves/what will be good for him! It probably has nothing to do with you. I would stay in the same bed, cuddle up to him and make it plain you're enjoying it. Maybe sneak in an early-morning hand job before he has time to realize what's going on. :) If he's pissed, just say that he looked so hot and you just...couldn't...help yourself... ;) In short, wheedle and squeeze your way back into sex bit by bit...this is obviously only a solution if he truly still WANTS you, but feels so bad about himself that he can't bring himself to sleep with you. Making it clear that you want him and love giving him pleasure may ease the self-loathing just enough for him to come around.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 June 2013): I guess he is punishing himself for not being able to get the promotion. We don't know why he didn't get it. Maybe he doesn't know either. But there is something that tells him he's not good enough for you and he is not entitled to receive satisfaction from you.
I doubt if sleeping in separate beds will solve any problem. But resisting against his decision may make him angry. Just let him do what he wants, but show him that you love him the way he is. Don't use words, just show him.
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