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Should we keep this as just a fantasy?

Tagged as: Cheating, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (12 February 2009) 5 Answers - (Newest, 19 February 2009)
A female United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

My husband and I have a fantasy we want to act out. I want him to go out and sleep with another woman and then come home and talk dirty to me about it. Should we do it or keep it fantasy?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2009):

hmm suspect that wouldn't be enough - he would want more e.g. to watch - why dont you ask him to go with a man and tell you about it first....

of course you could just go out and then tell him it happened in a complete fantasy way...

Star.x.

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A female reader, Emilysanswers United Kingdom +, writes (12 February 2009):

I think it's too risky. If you were 100% ok with it then you wouldn't be here so you must have doubts.

Why not just get him to go out with his mates for a boys night and then come home and make up a load of stuff about how he met some girl in the bar....

You'll get the thrill of it but you'll know he didn't actually get STD's by going with some girl in an alley. He can tell you that they went to the most expensive hotel in town etc. It'll be far better than what he could actually DO.

Good Luck!! xx

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (12 February 2009):

Honeypie agony auntI agree with Wonderingcat - do the Role Playing instead. He can go out and "pick" you up and you two go from there.

I know so many people have fantasies about adding another person sexually to the mix and I also know that in 9 out of 10 cases it ruin the relationship or breaks up a marriage.

How would you feel if he fell for the woman? Saw her behind your back cause the sex had been mind blowing?

You have a lot to loose and little to gain from it.

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A female reader, natasia United Kingdom +, writes (12 February 2009):

natasia agony auntI would DEFINITELY keep it as FANTASY.

As soon as it comes reality, you will be horribly jealous, you will never know what exactly happened between them (or if it happens again, if they want to keep it from you!) and you will be miserable.

Don't do it. Keep it as fantasy. That way it is just yours and his - nobody else's.

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A female reader, wonderingcat United Kingdom +, writes (12 February 2009):

wonderingcat agony auntInstead of sleeping with another woman (sounds trouble in the future to me!), why don't you "play the role of another woman"? For instance, from time to time, you dress up quite differently from your regular style, talk differently, etc etc. This role play does not have to be just you, but he can also do the same the next time. I think it would be much more FUN and SAFE for your monogamous marriage. Unless of course, an "open marriage" is what you were aiming for.

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