A
female
age
36-40,
*lapure4
writes:Hello Cupid! My cousin is in a mid-life crisis and she's almost 30. The reason I would describe this as such is because she's at a crossroads in her love life. She's been single for three years and since the breakup of her engagement (this was exactly three years ago). She was heartbroken from the breakup that it prevented her from experiencing adulation quite like the love she had with her ex-fiance (they've since made amends as friends). But last year, I gave her reassurance that she will find love again because she was feeling like she was at a standstill. She's also abstaining from sex until marriage because of her religious beliefs. Earlier this year, she grew closer with her guy friend from church and they went on a few dates. I've even noticed positive changes in her attitude since they've been dating, and I was led to believe that it would flourish into something more (possibly a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship) because it was surely headed in that direction. Even though he's treated her supremely well, she continues to play this cat and mouse game with him (playing hard to get). I'd say that its worked in her favor because he's done above and beyond what a guy would normally do because he cares for her a lot and will go out of his way to cater to her. But after he asked her to be his girlfriend several weeks ago, she refused for several reasons: he shares the same beliefs as she does except for the abstinence part and he's almost 10 years older than she is (he's 38 and she's 28). A few weeks later, she told me they experienced intimacy more than a few times without sex taking place which I doubt, but I didn't share that openly with her.She's moving to another state and will rarely see him. And the state she's moving to is where her ex-fiance currently lives. They've been somewhat closer via communications and seeing each other in between, so what should she do? Move on with the first guy or reconnect with the ex-fiance?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Anastasia  +, writes (4 June 2011):
 That is completely up to her. As her friend, I know you must care for her a great deal and only want the best for her. But in the end of it all, it is her decision.
How about you take her out to lunch and chat with her, tell her your concerns, let her know you only want the best for her and you know what she went through when she got hurt etc. And you two talk it out...as her friend...don't make decisions for her but perhaps do a pros and cons list on a napkin.
The ultimate decision is hers...
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