A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:In the summer, I was working away and had a very strong connection with a guy who was recently engaged. Over the summer months that we were working together 24/7 he began telling me he didn't have strong feelings for his fiance anymore, and he eventually told me that he fell in love with me. When our summer jobs ended and we went our separate ways (living in different states) he ended things with his fiance and wanted to be with me. Due to a few circumstances we are not able to be together because his family is extremely reglious (which I only found out the true him with his religion when we kept in touch after the summer) and they will not accept us because we "sinned" before marriage (to sum it up). His ex-fiance wrote me a message on facebook saying how awful of a person I was for giving myself to an engaged man, and so on. The thing is, I never responded back to her because I felt like it really wasn't entirely my doing of breaking them up. I wasn't the one who said I loved her, or gave her the promise of marriage, it was him. And she was trying to blame everything on me. Lately I've been thinking to myself if I should finally write her a message and apologize for everything that had happened (my judgement was clearly clouded when she first wrote me) but now that i've had a few months away from this guy (no contact at all) I'm starting to feel guilty about everything.Should I just forget about the whole thing since this all happened 3 months ago, or should I write her to apologize for the past?
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female
reader, love6269  +, writes (28 December 2009):
If I were you, I would probably apologize for everything. Being her, in a situation like that, can be very hard to deal with. If a man gives you his word, and breaks it like that, it can be heartbreaking. This woman was getting cheated on, and you knew about it. I'm not saying you're fully to blame, because you absolutely aren't. He was an engaged man, and should've taken responsibility for it. It's not your fault if he wanted to be with you, but if you knew he was engaged, you should've broke things off with him, or never let anything start in the first place. It can be hard in situations like that, because a guy will tell you everything you want to hear, and it can make you happy, but you have to think that every night, he's going home to this woman that he's engaged to, telling her the same things and most likely, sleeping with her too. Just do what you think is right, but think of how you would feel if you were in that situation too.
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